A curious thing happened to me back when I was in my late twenties.
I had gone out with some friends before heading over to meet a guy I’d met online, and I was having so much fun with my friends that I didn’t want to leave!
Finally I got up to go, and my girlfriend took one look at me and said, “He isn’t going to know what hit him.”
I was like, “What?”
“You’re glowing,” she said.
I mulled that over in my head as I walked the few blocks to where I was planning to meet the guy.
Sure enough, I must have had my glow on, because this guy couldn’t stop looking at me. It wasn’t ever going to work—he wasn’t my type—but he left that date a very happy man.
Now, I had been on many dates before where nothing out of the ordinary happened.
What was different this time?
Where did that mysterious glow come from, and why did it seem to mesmerize him so?
It’s Not Your Looks
If you want to knock him dead on a date, what do you do?
You spend hours making yourself absolutely gorgeous, right?
But the minute you’re standing face-to-face with a man, the way you look transforms.
The way you laugh and the way you speak animates your face. The way you sit down or stand or walk shows off your body. You’re giving off pheromones that he’s breathing in. He’s absorbing the quality of your energy, whether you’re warm or cool or engaged or distracted.
All of those factors add up to an experience of you that’s much more persuasive than how you look in the mirror.
It’s The Energy You Bring
There is so much to think about—the tone of your voice and the angle of your head and the curve of your lips—that it would drive you crazy to try to control it all.
But if you focus on just one thing…
One simple, powerful intention…
You can transform your everyday ordinary self into a radiant and magical goddess he can’t resist.
What is it?
A woman who’s enjoying herself lights up the room.
No matter where you are, you can immediately spot the person who’s enjoying themselves the most. That’s where all the energy and life are concentrated. Everyone around is jealous!
If you’re a coffee drinker, the next time you go get a coffee, notice which person behind the counter, if any, truly enjoys their job.
Baristas who love what they do shine. You want to get your coffee from that person! They’re going to put good vibes into your cup, and it’s going to taste better knowing that someone who cared made it.
The Art of Receiving Pleasure
But you know the one thing every barista appreciates?
It’s a customer who appreciates their art.
It’s that customer who breathes in the aromas and takes that first sip and rolls the flavors around in their mouth and swallows with eyes closed and a smile.
Seeing someone experience pleasure, especially if you were the one who gave it to them it, is a reward in and of itself.
And here’s a little secret about men…
They love seeing a woman expressing pleasure.
A man buys you a coffee because he’s a gentleman, but when he sees you express pleasure in that coffee and enjoy every sip, he feels like he ground those beans himself.
You don’t even have to say anything. It can be better if you don’t! That smile on your face and that quiet moment as you sip tells him how much you’re enjoying it.
Dating Shouldn’t Stress You
Women who love dating tend to have great success with men, because they go out expecting to have a good time.
There are so many things they enjoy about meeting someone. Getting to know this person, getting to go out on a Friday night, being single and free and knowing anything could happen.
It’s fun for them, and that fun is infectious. It makes their date have a good time, too.
No wonder I was glowing when I showed up for my date. I had been having so much fun with my friends that I was on a roll. I brought the fun with me, and he loved it!
So use the power of pleasure on your next date.
Even if you’re not necessarily looking forward to it, charge yourself up with pleasure beforehand.
Just before going to meet him, do something you really, really enjoy.
If you can, go out with friends. Maybe you can meet your friends for coffee right before you meet this guy for coffee.
But anything that puts a smile on your face and gets you in the mood will work!
When you have been enjoying yourself, and you bring that vibe onto a date, he won’t know what hit him.
Dates are usually so stressful and awkward, and it’s so nice when the other person shows up with good vibes.
Then, when you’re ready to take that next step, start expressing more pleasure during your dates.
If you like the venue, take a moment to look around and take it in with a smile. If you like the food, savor every bite. If you like the look of him, don’t be afraid to hold his gaze and smile. Again, you don’t have to SAY anything. Your body language will do the talking.
Pleasure is so powerful because it acts like an aphrodisiac to men.
I explain the science behind it and a step-by-step guide to cultivating a life of pleasure in my book The Pleasure Principle. If you’ve tried every other attract-men program out there and still aren’t experiencing the success you want, this will be a game-changer for you!