“He Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself”

A woman told me something that stopped me cold.

Her boyfriend had gotten angry and attempted to assert control over an area of her life.

She knew he had no right to do that. But, she said… (and this was the red flag):

He makes me feel bad about myself.”

Do you remember a time when a man did that to you?

It got me thinking…

Where’s the line?

Sometimes, the man you love will hurt you.

That’s normal. You’re always more sensitive to him than anyone else. He can trigger you in ways others can’t.

In a healthy relationship, you move through it. You talk it out or let it go. You know he loves you. You know he didn’t mean harm.

But sometimes you THINK he didn’t mean harm…

When he actually did.

He wanted you to feel the sting of his comment. He wanted you to sit in that shame. He wanted you to hurt, because that pain has a purpose:

It makes you stop whatever you’re doing and do what he wants.

To me, that’s the line.

When a man hurts you strategically, he’s no longer loving you. He’s controlling you.

For example:

He shames you for your weight so you fear losing him and work harder.

He shames you for your career so you invest less in it and more in him.

He shames you for your hobby because it gives you something he can’t control.

Now think back. Remember a moment when a man you loved made you feel bad about yourself?

Was it accidental, or was it strategic?

If your gut is uneasy but you’re not sure, I have a free guide that can help.

It’s called “The 10 Signs of Trouble,” and you can get it free right here. It will help you figure out whether his behavior is innocent… or whether it’s part of a pattern.