If you, like me, grew up in an era where it was a woman’s job to snag a good husband…
Then setting your sights higher can be difficult.
You don’t feel like you should complain.
You should be grateful for what you have.
He’s a man. What more can you expect from him?
You’re no beauty queen. What if no one else will have you?
As women, we remind ourselves all the time to be content with our lot. It could always be worse.
I think that’s a beautiful trait. It keeps us humble and appreciative and grounded.
It also keeps us down.
Men don’t have any problem with setting their sights higher.
Even retirement-age men believe that a 20-year-old woman might be interested in them.
They set their sights high, but they also cast their net wide. They’re not going to turn down a good thing when it falls in their lap.
Do you set your sights high enough in love?
What does setting your sights high even look like to you?
For many of us, it probably doesn’t mean a 20-year-old guy.
It may mean a guy who gives as much as he takes.
A guy who delights in looking after us.
A guy who would drop everything to nurse us through a health scare.
Not a guy who would expect his dinner on the table after you come back from chemo.
Not a guy who makes disparaging comments about how your body has changed.
Not a guy who feels like your needs make his life harder.
Now, setting your sights higher doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get what you aim for.
But it helps you cast your net wider.
It helps you believe that you’re worthy of a really good relationship.
It helps you spot the men who treat you really well—because they treat all women well.
And most importantly…
It helps you say no to relationships that benefit him more than you.
We women love to give in our relationships.
We look for a man who’ll receive everything we have to give.
But we don’t tend to be very good at recognizing a man’s capacity to give.
We feel bowled over by his generosity in the early days of the relationship, only to find that it turns to stinginess once he “has” us.
Set your sights higher.
Set your sights on receiving as much as you give.
The Pleasure Principle can help.