We don’t talk enough about relationship stress.
We all know work is stressful, and life is stressful, but man…
The people we love are the most stressful of all.
So what can we do about it?
As neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett says:
The best thing for your nervous system is another human. The worst thing for your nervous system is also another human.”
What should you do when someone isn’t helping your stress but rather adding to it?
Well, if it was a friend, you’d give yourself a break from them. You’d stop seeing them for a bit.
But many of us don’t do that when the stressor is the man in our life.
Instead, we lean into the stress. We go into fix-it mode. We push harder.
Our nervous system is begging for a break from him, but we won’t do it. We worry that withdrawing is cold; stepping back will make him feel rejected.
That’s just not true.
Men take breaks from their relationships all the time.
They go away into their video games or man caves or work projects, and lose themselves in their own little world.
For their sanity’s sake, they have to carve out a space for themselves where they don’t have to think about anyone else for a while.
You need that, too.
You need your own space where you don’t have to think about anyone else.
A space in your mind that’s all your own.
That’s just about you and what you love.
That’s just about your needs and your dreams.
Find that space for yourself now. Make it a priority. Do my “Man Reset” exercise if you need help.
Then go there in your mind whenever you need perspective or a break.
Where are you choosing him/men over yourself?
Why?
What’s it costing you?
When you’re ready to build a life on your own terms, there’s no better guide than The Pleasure Principle. I teach you how to use your own pleasure as a roadmap in life and love.
Let us know what you think!