If You’re Not His First Priority

Men are great.

But life can feel a little bit easier when we have the ability to put them in a box.

When you’re love-centered, like so many of us are, you put your relationship at the center of your life. Everything else circles around it.

So, when it’s rocky with him, it shakes your entire foundation.

Men don’t do this.

At least, they’re trained not to. A man who puts his relationship with a woman at the center of his life is considered unmanly. He gets teased and mocked.

Men are told they should never put their happiness in someone else’s hands.

(If you’ve ever wondered why real-life men don’t behave anything like the guys in romantic comedies, this is why. If a guy acted like that in real life, he’d be a laughing-stock.)

Which Comes First for Him: You Or His Career?

Author and influencer Lewis Howes once shared on a podcast that his relationship would always come after his mission and his health.

He claimed that being on track with his mission and his health was essential to being a good partner, so his then-fiancé should appreciate his priorities.

Howes speaks for a lot of men.

Their relationship comes third (or fourth or fifth) in their life, and they think that makes them a man. Women should be understanding.

Does anyone you know think that way?

Pause for a moment.

Think about the priorities in your man’s life (job, gaming, health, car, family, music, etc).

Now rank them from 1 to 10, based on how he perceives them.

Where did you come in?

If You’re Not His Priority, Should He Be Yours?

The bad news is, if this is part of his belief system – that it’s unmanly to center his relationship – you’re not going to change him. Beliefs are notoriously resistant to change.

What you can do is see this as an opportunity.

As women, we’ve been trained to put our relationships first and organize our whole life around them. But what if we didn’t?

What if we saw our relationships as vital support for our work in the world, rather than the mission itself?

If you saw your romantic relationship as something that supported you in doing what you were put here on this earth to do…

What do you think that would be?

How would it change what you expect from him?

One Last Thought

When I heard that Lewis Howes interview, I wanted the interviewer to ask him:

How would you feel if your fiancé did the same? If she went on a podcast and told everyone you were only her third priority?”

Because it sounds “manly” when men say it…

But selfish when we say it.

Women are supposed to accommodate men. We’re the helpers.

That’s why so many men think they have a right to relationships. They need her to do the work at home so they can focus on what matters to them.

A man who sits back and lets you do all the work is no catch. You want a man motivated by your pleasure.

If you’re not practicing The Pleasure Principle, get started now.