So you’re dating this guy, but you’re just not quite sure about him. He’s amazing. He treats you like a queen. Everyone seems to love him.
He goes a little off.
He says or does something unexpectedly rude. Something you wouldn’t think him capable of. Normally, he’s such a gentleman.
Are you just being too sensitive? Or is there something there you need to watch out for?
Watch Out for These Guys
Psychologist Martha Stout believes that 1 in 25 people are so dangerous that you need to avoid any entanglement with them whatsoever.
Only one problem:
These folks are often the most charismatic, successful, charming people around.
They don’t look dangerous. They don’t act dangerous. No one would believe a word against them.
But these folks have a secret. They don’t feel anything. They don’t have the emotional bonds that you and I take for granted. They can’t love. It’s all pretense.
Whatever you want to call these people—narcissists, sociopaths—you want to steer clear. But how do you spot them?
Here are 3 tips.
#1. He Makes You Feel Sorry for Him
Most guys HATE being pitied. It’s the last thing they’d want.
But someone who has no moral compass wants you to feel sorry for him, because you can’t stay mad at someone you feel sorry for.
If a guy you’re dating tells you a sob story so you’ll let him off the hook for bad behavior, then that’s THE #1 dating red flag.
You want a guy who accepts responsibility and makes amends, not one who manipulates your heartstrings.
#2. He’s Not Close to Anyone—Except You
The best gauge of a man’s ability to love you is his ability to love others.
So even though it may feel incredible when he chooses you as only person special enough to confess his most intimate thoughts to, you might want to watch out.
A man with a generous heart will have close personal connections with friends and family as well as the woman he loves.
#3. You Owe Him
In the absence of love, there’s only a sticky web of mutual obligations. He does this for you; now he expects you to do something for him.
“You owe me” is a major red flag. No matter how much money he’s spent on you, no matter how much he’s gone out of his way for you, that doesn’t make you obligated to him.
In a healthy relationship, people do nice things for each other out of affection, not the expectation of getting something in return.
Have you dated a guy that displayed these traits? Let me know!
(And make sure to check out my interview with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on how to deal with toxic people.)