You’ve heard about the 5 love languages, right?
It’s the idea that we all express love in different ways.
Some people show love by doing nice things, while others make sure they always have plenty of time for their loved ones. Some make sure to say, “I love you,” others give gifts, and still others give lots of hugs and kisses.
If you’ve never thought about how you give and receive love, learning about love languages is a great way to start.
But there’s a problem:
You may think you know your partner’s love language…
But you may STILL not know how to make your partner feel loved.
So how do you do it?
A Couple in Crisis
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt were relationship therapists who’d written several bestselling books on love. They knew how to make marriages work. They’d been married for decades.
One day Helen asked Harville, “Do you believe that I love you?”
And he said no.
He KNEW that his wife loved him, but he didn’t FEEL loved.
He knew that didn’t make any sense. Helen showed him love in a thousand different ways. But there was a difference between knowing something and believing it.
Being relationship therapists, they got straight to work on their marriage. The result was their book Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship By Letting Yourself Be Loved.
So how did they solve the problem?
Did Helen need to learn what made Harville feel loved and do more of that?
Here’s what they discovered.
Are You Good at Receiving Love?
The common wisdom is that romantic relationships would stay happy if people did a better job of giving to each other. But that’s not what we discovered. We’ve found that many people need to do a better job of receiving the gifts their partners are already offering.”
If your guy doesn’t feel loved, it may not be you.
It may be that he doesn’t know how to RECEIVE the love you’re giving.
Someone who rejects himself will have a hard time accepting approval and affection from others.
You could ask him every single morning, “How can I make you feel loved today?” and do EXACTLY what he asks…
But if he is looking for a way to push away your love, he will.
So here’s what I suggest…
Take a Moment to Receive
Practice receiving love every time you give it.
When you show each other love—in whatever love language you choose—take a moment to stop, look each other in the eye, and receive that love.
Just take a moment … really FEEL the love that’s being offered … understanding that receiving love completes the circle.
It’s like handing him a gift. You can’t give unless he opens his hand and take it.
Are you good at receiving love? Do you think your guy is good at receiving love? Let me know in the comments!