Popular dating advice is full of good tips…
That worked 100 years ago.
If you’ve ever let a man take you out, if you’ve ever worked on yourself to attract a high-quality man, if you’ve tried to be easy and undemanding, if you’ve ever played it cool so that he’d chase you…
Then you are dating just like women did 100 years ago.
You’ve probably been told that this dating advice works because it’s classic. This is how men are. This is how attraction works. There are universal laws you have to obey.
Only one problem…
Both history AND science disagree.
That 1950s advice may have worked for your mother, but it’s not going to work for you. It’s 2020. We’ve got Tinder and Bumble. Being married doesn’t mean it’s your job to cook for and clean up after your man.
It’s time to start looking underneath the cliches and tropes of dating advice to find out what’s worth keeping in 2020 and what we should be discarding.
Ready to bust the myths of popular dating advice with me?
Then let’s tackle a dating myth that seems to be everywhere at the moment…
Dating Myth #1:
You’re doing it all wrong.
Ever noticed how much dating advice focuses on all the mistakes you’re making?
Or maybe I should ask another question:
How many men do you think go online and search for “what I’m doing to turn women off”?
A few, I’m sure. (Or not enough?)
But too many women seem to think there’s nothing wrong with berating themselves for turning off men.
It’s OUR fault, obviously. We’re not attractive enough. We don’t know what we’re doing. If someone would just tell us what men want, we’ll give it to them.
When did we decide ever that it’s our job to attract a man and not HIS job to attract us?
Oh, right. We decided that a hundred years ago.
When you believe this myth—that you’re doing something wrong, and it’s up to you to fix it—you put a ton of pressure on yourself.
Dating becomes stressful. Each date is like a test that you’ll either pass or fail.
You end up hustling for worthiness. You let men act as judge and jury on your value as a mate.
You don’t want to give men that power!
The truth is, there’s NOTHING wrong with you. Your friends and family already know that. They love you just as you are.
Anyone who tells you that a man can’t just love you as you are—because men can only love a narrowly-defined subgroup of women who fit the feminine ideal—doesn’t know much about men.
Men aren’t stereotypes. They’re real human beings. What they’re attracted to is as individual as they are.
Your job isn’t to attack every part of yourself that men might find unattractive and fix it.
Your job is to go out there and connect.
Let’s get the judgment out of dating. Stop making us feel bad for not “measuring up.” The only thing you HAVE to have in order to qualify for a relationship is the ability to give and receive love.
And I’m pretty sure you do that quite well!