You’ve met this really great guy online.
You were chatting away, sharing everything under the sun, when suddenly…
He stopped writing to you.
Even worse, he’s still online. You can see the green light next to his name. Probably messaging other girls.
What did you do wrong??! What happened?
The short answer is:
He disqualified himself.
Testing … Testing …
We have this belief that dating is a test.
What you’re being tested on is whether you’re good enough to be in a relationship with.
If you ace the test, he asks you out—and keeps asking you out.
If you fail the test, he disappears on you and you end up alone and single for life.
No one wants to fail the test. We all want to ace it! Who wants to think they’re not relationship-worthy?
So we feel incredibly ashamed when a guy drops off the face of the planet and doesn’t return our messages.
You can’t help but look back through your messages to try and find out where you gave the “wrong answer,” the one that turned him off.
But that idea that dating is a test?
Dating isn’t a test. Even if it were, the last person you’d want judging you is some guy you don’t even know!
There’s not a SINGLE guy out there with the power to determine whether you’re worthy of being in a relationship with.
Here’s what his behavior ACTUALLY means:
He’s taken himself out of the running to be part of your life.
Simple and easy.
Thank goodness you know! You were about to waste a lot more time on him.
What does he think of you? Who cares??
Your job is NOT to win over guys who were on the fence about you. It’s to find that ONE guy who clicks with you so completely that all you want to do is be together all the time.
Psychotherapist Ken Page calls it the 90% rule.
NINETY percent of the guys you meet won’t click with you.
So if things don’t go anywhere with 9 out of 10 guys, your average is perfect. You’re right on track.
The guy who stopped writing to you was one of those 9. Mentally thank him for not wasting any more of your time, and move on to find that ONE guy with genuine potential.