What Makes Him Commit

The vast majority of dating advice boils down to one thing:

Attraction. 

If you’re attractive – if you know “how to attract men” – you’ll overflow with dating options and end up with the man of your dreams.

Except for one teeny tiny little problem…

Attraction only does one thing.

It excites his interest in getting you into bed.

That’s it.

So you could master attraction and become the most attractive woman in the world…

But all it will get you are men who want to sleep with you.

(Just ask beautiful women – they find it just as hard to find love.)

What makes a man commit to you is something else entirely.

The Commitment Equation for Men

As women, we tend to think the commitment equation looks like this:

Attraction + falling in love = commitment

If you’re attracted to each other, having a great time between the sheets, and feel an intense emotional bond, then isn’t commitment the next natural step?

No.

Because, for men, commitment isn’t about how they feel towards you.

It’s about what they think would be in their best interests.

(This is what men themselves tell me – I share their exact words in Sanctuary Signals.)

Think Practical

For many men, commitment isn’t a heart-led decision. It’s a logical decision.

It’s based on whether he thinks commitment will serve his long-term goals and interests.

He looks at your life, looks at his life, and compares the two.

If he feels his standard of living, wellbeing, and future prospects will be improved by incorporating your life into his own, he’s more likely to commit.

If he’s unsure, or if he feels your life might be added responsibility he’s not ready for, he’ll hold back.

He’ll give you just enough to keep you, but he’ll find reasons to avoid merging your lives.

It’s Not That He Doesn’t Love You

That’s why you can’t convince a man to commit to you by asking, “Don’t you love me?”

It’s not a matter of love for him.

It’s a practical matter.

How will this work? Will it leave me better off? What if the relationship goes downhill? Am I protected?

Addressing those practical concerns will go further towards encouraging commitment than all the romance and attraction in the world.