Think back to the last time a man ended things with you.
(If that’s never happened to you, good for you! 😉)
What did he tell you? Did he say it was him, not you?
Did he say that to your face? Or via text?
If you got a good old-fashioned in-person breakup, you’re one of the lucky ones.
Breakup culture is changing.
And you need to know what to expect.
Rude Or Convenient?
Once upon a time, we all agreed that it was rude to break up over text.
Now, we still agree it’s rude, but we do it anyway.
People are losing their taste for confrontation. They hate delivering bad news. They don’t know what to say. They can’t stand tears.
Texting a breakup message solves all those problems.
You don’t have to see the impact of your words. You don’t have to argue. You can just send the text, put down your phone, and walk away.
There’s another, less obvious reason that text breakups are becoming more common.
More and more relationships are taking place over text.
Many couples text more than they talk.
They feel like they have their most honest, vulnerable conversations via text.
It’s easier to text than to find time to see each other and experience the awkwardness of face-to-face conversation.
But as the saying goes…
Live by the text, die by the text.
If your phone is where your most intimate, vulnerable conversations happen, then it’s the natural place to break up.
Could Text Breakups Be A Good Thing?
Breaking up by text has its advantages.
If you’re doing the breaking up, you can plan out your speech in advance. (Just search for “breakup texts”—you’ll find a bazillion ideas.)
If you’re being broken up with, you can keep your dignity intact. He’ll never have to see your crying face, or you on your knees begging.
It’s a clean break.
You can block each other on your phones and never see each other again.
But What About Closure?
The obvious problem with breakup texts is the lack of closure.
You don’t get to ask him why.
Why did he end it? What went so wrong that he thought it couldn’t be fixed?
When that text pops up on screen, it can be hard to believe he typed it. You can’t imagine the man you care about writing something like this.
Did someone steal his phone and do this? Is this even real?
There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to believe it. Maybe he was drunk when he typed this. Maybe someone pressured him to break up with you.
You need to see his face and hear the words coming out of his mouth before you’ll believe it.
Making Peace with Breakup Texts
I wish I could say that breakup texts were on their way out and we were all recognizing the importance of breaking up in person.
Unfortunately, this is one trend that isn’t going away.
It’s not just cowards who break up over text.
It’s ordinary men and women who have gotten used to doing everything over their phones—ordering a pizza, researching their next purchase, calling mom, flirting with someone cute, and organizing a date.
Phones are part of relationships now.
And they’re not going away.
Learn more about texting in relationships with these articles: