Of all the ways that love can drag down your life…
The worst is falling for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
You were ready and willing to give EVERYTHING.
Your heart, your time, your commitment…
And he didn’t really value that.
To make matters worse, it really seemed like it would be different in the beginning.
He acted like he was into you. He acted like he cared.
He acted like he wanted the same things you do.
You were so excited. You were so happy!
Maybe this was the one. Maybe there was something beautiful here.
Instead you ended up investing time, energy, and so much of yourself in someone who wasn’t worth it. He cared more about himself than you.
How can you spot guys like this before it’s too late?
And—more importantly—how do you spot the good guys?
You look for these 3 signs.
He’s like you in the ways that matter most.
When you’re scrolling through your online dating app of choice, what makes you stop and take a second look?
Is it because he’s good-looking? Because his profile makes him sound like a complete catch?
We make a HUGE mistake when we think that we should go after a guy just because he looks and sounds like a complete catch.
We don’t want a catch. We want the perfect MATCH.
It doesn’t matter if a guy looks like a movie star. It doesn’t matter if he’s got a career like some tech entrepreneur.
What matters is that the two of you GET each other.
You’re on the same wavelength. You share the same vibe. You feel like you’ve known each other forever.
So look for a guy who looks like someone you would know. Someone you’d be friends with. Someone you’d hang out with.
Maybe no one else would see him as a catch, but who cares?
You’re after true love, and true love is a meeting of hearts—not résumés.
A proven record of loving partnership.
It isn’t easy to listen to a man talk about a woman he’s loved before—not if you’re interested in him.
But it’s actually a really good sign if a guy can talk with love about one of his past partners, while at the same time showing he’s moved on with a free heart.
Love is something you learn by doing.
A man who hasn’t loved anyone before you is not someone who’s saved his entire heart for you. He’s someone who lacks experience.
And he may be someone who’s not ready to open his heart to anyone. He claims it’s because he hasn’t found the right person… and maybe that “right person” could be you? Talk about a great way to hook you in!
Men who want a loving relationship are usually able to find someone to love.
But for them, just like for us, it doesn’t always work out.
That’s okay. He keeps trying. He’s not embarrassed of the fact that he’s loved and lost. It’s just part of life.
I made the mistake once of falling for a man who I thought knew how to love. He said he loved his mother! But what he never talked about were the women he’d loved. He had exes, but he didn’t speak positively about them.
Just because a guy loves his mother, or loves his pets, doesn’t mean he can love you.
The way he treats you.
This is the most important sign of all.
I hear from so many women—beautiful women, strong women, loving women—who say, “I love him. How can I get him to realize that? How can I get him to love me back?”
They’re focused so much on the love THEY feel that they completely overlook how he’s acting.
I know that YOU can love.
I know that, when you choose someone to love, you love them with your entire heart.
But this is not about you.
This is about him.
It’s about whether his heart is your equal.
The way you deduce his capacity to love you is by looking at his actions like an outside observer would.
You ask yourself this very important question:
If one of my girlfriends had a boyfriend who treated her this way, what would I advise her?”
I wish for you all the best in love.
I wish for you a man with an open, generous heart who treats you well.
And I hope you hold out until you find a man who matches you in every way that matters.
(If you’ve got a friend who needs to hear this message, make sure to share!)
Let us know what you think!