Yes, he’s missing you right now, even if you don’t think he is.
And that’s key to getting him back, as you’ll find out in just a minute.
When a guy breaks off things with you, you can’t help but think you’re hurting a lot more than he is. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t even notice you’re gone.
But you’d be wrong.
When you watch a man end a relationship on Thursday and have a new girlfriend by Saturday, of course you’re going to conclude that men are insensitive jerks. He couldn’t have loved you if he replaced you so soon.
What you don’t see is what’s driving his need to find someone else.
When you break up with someone, whether you’re the one breaking up or being broken up with, it hurts. There are a lot of difficult feelings to process. You feel guilty for not being able to make it work. Everything reminds you of your ex.
But at least you’re dealing with the pain. You’re facing it head-on. You’re talking it through. Once you’ve worked through those feelings, you’ll be able to put it behind you and move on stronger than before.
That’s not necessarily the case for men.
Men tend to avoid dealing with hard stuff. They don’t always have the skills or support to work through tricky emotions. Instead, they focus on getting rid of those uncomfortable feelings as soon as possible.
Drinking helps, partying helps, and getting a new girlfriend helps. Finding someone new takes his mind off what happened. He can’t live without you, so he has to replace you.
That means he never really gets over you, found one study.
Another study found that about half of men and women experience mixed feelings after a breakup. They’re not sure they made the right decision.
Men are slightly more likely to regret a breakup, with 36% of men regretting breaking up with someone compared to 28% of women.
So there’s a very good chance he’s on the fence about breaking up with you. He’s not sure he did the right thing.
You can use that to your advantage.
If you want him back, your job is to give him exactly what he wants:
Allow him to experience the loss of you.
Let him find out what it’s like to not have you in his life.
Don’t fight it, don’t find ways to bump into him, don’t send him a friendly text to stay on his mind. Don’t get talking and then end up in his bed.
He needs to experience what life is like without you. You’re not available anymore. He doesn’t get to text you with an inside joke.
If he’s not sure whether he made the right decision, he’ll quickly find out when you’re not in his life anymore.
Nothing can be more painful than not reaching out to the man you love, even though you’re not together anymore. But you need to give him what he think he wants. Only then will he have the chance to realize that’s not actually what he wants at all.