In the 20th Century:
Marriage makes you an adult.
In the 21st Century:
Marriage can make you childish.
Marriage used to mark the transition between youth and adulthood.
You hadn’t grown up until you’d settled down with someone.
Even today, many folks look at lifelong singles with suspicion, assuming they were too immature to settle down.
But a book published back in 1988 began to shift our perception of marriage as a bestower of adulthood.
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt popularized the idea that marriage was a crucible.
Married couples treat each other in ways they’d never treat anyone else.
Married couples can be cruel to each other. They can expect their partner to parent them.
They can get away with bad behavior, because their spouse is too invested in keeping the peace.
Today, we know that marriage doesn’t make anyone an adult.
What makes someone an adult is the choice to grow up and face hard things.
Marriage offers an incredible opportunity to do that. But not everyone takes that opportunity.
It’s hard to be stuck for the rest of your life with someone who won’t grow up.
Questions to consider:
- How well do we face hard things together?
- Do we say/do anything to each other that we’d never say/do to anyone else?
- Do we make each other better people?
Let us know what you think!