Becca was tired.
“I don’t even feel sexual anymore,” she said. “Sometimes I go out and I meet these nice guys, and they’re just so nice that all we do is hug. Maybe give each other a peck on the cheek.”
She gave me a wan smile.
Becca didn’t feel sexual, and she didn’t look sexy, either. She looked tired. Worn down. In a slump.
“I want to feel like me again.” She frowned. “Weirdly enough, I want to feel like I did when I met my ex. He had this goofy grin on his face every time he saw me. He used to listen to me like he was fascinated by everything I said. We laughed so much. I miss the feeling of knowing I can turn someone on just by showing up.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
“You know who’d be fascinated by everything you think and feel?” I said.
She snorted. “Okay…”
“No, really.” I leaned forward. “Who most appreciates all the time and effort you put into looking good? It’s not a guy. It’s you. You’re the one who sees every little detail when you look in the mirror.
“And,” I added, “you know exactly what turns you on. What the perfect evening looks like. What you wish your date would say to you.”
“Not that it does me much good,” Becca replied, “given I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Why wait? Why not take yourself out on dates?”
“Date myself?” she choked.
It’s not your typical dating advice. But it could just be the tip that kickstarts a flood of abundance in your love life.
So many of us date because we’re searching for affirmation.
We want to feel beautiful. We yearn to see ourselves reflected in his smile. We ache from the weight of how much we have to share.
And invariably, when a date falls flat or he doesn’t call back, we’re left questioning our own worth.
Why didn’t he want what we had to give?
But that doesn’t happen when you’re already filled up with love.
You don’t need anything from him. If the spark’s not there, it’s not there. Next, please.
Being filled up with love cushions the blows of life. It takes the sting out of rejection. If you already knew how much you were loved, then one man’s opinion of you means nothing.
But how can you feel full of love, when you don’t have a partner of your own?
Just look in the mirror.
You are the only constant in your life.
Men will come and go, but that face in the mirror will never go away. She’s your best friend, even if it doesn’t always feel like that. If you’re willing, she can smile at you every morning for the rest of your life.
Give yourself the love you’ve been waiting for.
Do for yourself what you’ve wanted men to do for you.
Sure, maybe you can’t enjoy a romantic dinner for two, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a romantic dinner for one. Bring a book. People-watch. Enjoy a glass of their finest wine.
Does that sound way too decadent?
Would you be insanely embarrassed to dress up for a night out with yourself?
If so, then maybe you need a little bit more selfishness in your life. 😉
Why wouldn’t you take care of yourself?
Why wouldn’t you treat yourself as well as you’d treat any future man in your life?
Don’t you deserve all the good you have to offer?
Taking wonderful care of yourself can ease the ache in your heart that yearns for someone to spoil.
There’s something magical that happens when we commit to our own pleasure.
We start to feel LIFE running through our veins again.
We feel more alive. Like the world is full of juicy treats. Like there’s something exciting around every corner.
And that energy is insanely attractive.
What have you been waiting for a man to do for you?
Have you been waiting for a boyfriend to buy you flowers, or take you on a weekend away, or tell you you’re beautiful?
Then hop to it!
Buy yourself flowers. Treat yourself to a weekend away. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Honey, you’re gorgeous.”
You are the knight in shining armor you’ve been waiting for. The one who’s going to charge into your life and make it magical again.
To learn more about this idea, check out my book THE PLEASURE PRINCIPLE. You’ll discover how committing to pleasure can improve your health, make you feel young again, and sneak romance back into your life.
Catherine Dietz says
Great article, Amy!! #truth