No matter what you’re like…
Whether you’re a brunette or a blonde, curvy or slim, outgoing or shy, Anglo or Latina, born-again or Jewish…
There will be a large and vocal group of men who will NEVER date a woman like you.
They’ll have all sorts of reasons for not dating you. But usually it comes down to an ex.
Once upon a time, they dated a woman “like you,” and she was a real piece of work. They gave her everything, and she was nothing but a user. Never again!
The human brain is designed to jump to conclusions. We have one bad experience with, say, shrimp, and we never eat shrimp again. That’s normal.
But we also have a prefrontal cortex that reminds us that our personal experience isn’t universal.
I don’t like shrimp, but I can understand that other people find shrimp delicious. I’m not going to spend my life warning people off shrimp just because I find it disgusting.
Similarly, I don’t know what half my friends find so irresistible about the men they’ve chosen to marry. I like their husbands, but personally I wouldn’t marry them. And that’s okay!
Who we love is an INCREDIBLY personal choice…
Even more personal than what we like to eat.
Where we run into problems is when people think their own personal dating choices aren’t personal; they should be universal.
Men who think that not only are, say, brunettes unattractive, but that NO ONE should date brunettes.
These men come up with lots of various reasons brunettes are bad news. Some of those reasons may even appear to be based in science, such as the notion that natural blondes have higher levels of estrogen, which make them more feminine.
But at the end of the day, we date who WE want to date…
Not the people we’re told we should want to date.
So why don’t some men want to date single moms?
Because that’s their personal preference. They have their own reasons, and none of us have to care.
What YOU need to know, if you’re a single mom, is that any man who says, “I don’t date single moms,” is disqualifying himself from your affections. He has a right to his opinion, and you have a right to love.
And if someone makes generalizations about you based on the fact you’re a woman, you’re a brunette, you’re curvy, you’re mature, you’re a single mom, whatever…
That’s prejudice. It’s designed to diminish you. And that’s not a game you have to play.