He was SO into you…
And then he wasn’t.
We’ve all rented a room or two at the “Heartbreak Hotel.” Sometimes we didn’t even see the breakup coming (although an outsider would have seen it approaching like a raging bull, wearing a neon-green cape and blasting a blow horn).
Other times, breakups truly do happen out of nowhere. Everything was fine, until suddenly it wasn’t anymore.
No matter how how it happened, breakups usually have something in common:
Your guy is hiding something.
A secret he’s not sharing with you. A secret that explains why he bolted. A secret that keeps him from fully expressing how he felt to you.
You may be thinking: No way, not my guy! We share EVERYTHING.
Even though your guy was sensitive, open, and cried at the movies, the fact remains:
He’s still a guy.
And ALL guys struggle with these issues.
Understanding what might be going on for him can help you get over the pain of processing what happened … or even possibly help you get your ex back.
Here are 3 secret reasons men break up with really great women.
He felt pressured and inadequate.
Were you constantly chasing him? Did you want more love, affection, or sex than what he was doling out? Did you feel like you were frequently trying to fix things in the relationship?
If so, there was definitely an imbalance in your relationship. More than likely, it made him feel pressured and inadequate in your presence.
And that’s not at ALL your fault.
Most men run from emotional pressure like they’re running for their lives—because, in their minds, they ARE running for their lives.
Emotional pressure challenges the underdeveloped part of a man’s masculinity and makes him feel ill-equipped to deal. In his mind, he feels like anything he does won’t be (and will NEVER be) good enough for you.
This makes him shut down and lock his heart up like Fort Knox, rather than deal with any more feelings of pressure or inadequacy.
Your relationship felt competitive.
If a man has to compete with his partner for control of the relationship, he not only feels inadequate but also feels like there’s no place for his masculinity in his woman’s life.
This isn’t to say that he should be in control of your relationship! That’s unfair to both of you.
Rather, a successful relationship has complementary forces where each person relinquishes control in certain areas. There’s give and take.
Without that balance, both parties end up in a power struggle. Both compete to win, and in the end the relationship loses.
This dynamic shows up in scenarios like these:
- In a social context. Do the two of you get into arguments about who is right and who is wrong in front of other people?
- In a financial context. Who is the breadwinner? Do you make more money than him? Was this disparity ever brought up in a way that emasculated him?
- In an intimate context. Do you make most of the decisions for you as a couple, like where to eat, what to do, or which movies to see?
If he feels like you’re AGAINST him instead of FOR him, he’ll never feel fully capable of opening his heart, because he’s afraid of losing the “game” and getting hurt.
He didn’t feel respected.
A man can’t build a life with a woman who doesn’t respect him.
He HAS to feel that his partner has his back, above and beyond anyone or anything else. He must know that, in his weakest moment, his partner will shower him with acceptance.
Because here is the hidden truth about how much you matter to him:
YOU are the key to his greatness.
In order for him to unlock all that he has within him, including his tenderness and willingness to commit, he needs a deep and underlying foundation of respect.
With a high caliber woman by his side, he can take greater risks in life. He can actually experience more freedom than was possible by himself.
So now that you know the reasons why he left…
How do you start to get him back?
If you still truly love him, it’s time to reflect. What can you do to rectify the situation?
Once you know how to break through his defenses and touch the deepest part of his heart, he’ll feel an overwhelming calm and trust that you truly (FINALLY) get him.
Want More Clayton?
Watch our interview with Clayton where he tells us EXACTLY what men want in a woman.
Read Clayton’s 3 Secret Signs He’s Fallen for You.