Most of us date for love.
The awkward, clumsy first dates? Those are just an added bonus. 😉
The happily ever after? That’s our endgame.
As a result, we want to know love’s ETA. When is it going to happen? When is a date going to move from liking each other to falling for one another?
You know how you feel, and now you want to know how HE feels. You don’t want to invest your time or your heart if the two of you aren’t on the same page.
So you look for signs. The clearer, the better.
If he does X, that means he’s falling in love with you.
If he does Y, that means he’s not falling in love with you.
Knowing what to look for allows you to relax. No more guessing what’s going through his head. No more wondering what his texts mean. No more asking your friends what THEY think he meant.
Some signs are obvious. You want to see that he’s affectionate with you, maintains eye contact, spends time with you, and flat-out says he likes you.
But there’s another side of falling in love that isn’t always expressed.
Because it tends to be terrifying.
If you’re falling for him HARD, you don’t want him to know it. It’s easier if you just like him a lot.
Similarly, he may not want to let on that he’s falling head over heels for you. He’s not ready to show his cards quite yet. He may not be comfortable with the intensity of his feelings.
But know this. An emotion as powerful as love will ALWAYS find a way to express itself. It will always find a way out.
So if you’re wondering, “Does he love me?” pay close attention to these 3 ways love shows itself in your connection.
Love Sign #1.
He is in awe of your uniqueness.
This feeling of awe is part of the honeymoon phase. It’s a chemical reaction that allow us to drop judgment and only see the best in our partner. We like everything about them—their quirks, their flaws. Even their snoring sounds like a symphony!
When a man is falling in love with you, he accepts your flaws unconditionally. Yes, even the things you feel insecure about!
He encourages you to accept yourself and actively tries to merge himself with you. He may take up your interests or hobbies, look at you a certain way, or see you in ways that you might never have seen yourself.
Love Sign #2.
There is an emotional fragility to him.
Falling in love is scary. It can makes us feel emotionally fragile. Suddenly, we have a lot to lose.
This isn’t a great experience for men. Most men don’t like to feel vulnerable.
When he is with you, he may express that fragility by being stressed out or easily triggered. He may act clingy, jealous, or paranoid that you’re going to leave him. This doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong; it means that he’s struggling to regulate his emotions.
Not all men exhibit this sign. It’s typically most prevalent in men who have lower-than-average self-esteem. This leaves them questioning their self-worth and wondering why a girl like you is with a guy like him.
(Want to know if he’s a keeper? Then look for these 3 signs!)
Love Sign #3.
There is a deep and wide connection forming.
Of course, love also involves connection—a deep and wide connection.
This often manifests as multiple places and categories in his life that he allows you to see more of and be a part of.
He might introduce you to his friends or co-workers. He may show you off to his family. He might bring you to the activities and passions that he finds interesting. He may ask you to join him in a hike or in a pottery class. He may take you to a baseball game or ask for your input in his fantasy football draft.
Men integrate women into their lives when they see the potential for a long-term relationship.
When a man starts to really BE with you—he focuses on you, he does things for you without you asking, he gives you a kiss out of the blue—he’s started to fall in love.
An uptick in his presence means an uptick in your relationship status. Men don’t invest in women they aren’t interested in. And they don’t fall into the role of provider or caretaker for women they don’t see in their future.
Are you seeing any of these signs in your relationship? Let us know in the comments!
Want More Clayton?
Watch our interview with Clayton where he tells us EXACTLY what men want in a woman.
Read Clayton’s answer to the question “Why Did He Leave Me?“
Darlene Yamane says
Thank you. That was very helpful, affirming as I see especially #1 and #3 occurring in our relationship. He is quite confident, and his affirmation of the qualities and character he sees in me is helping me become more confident just as a person. I appreciate very much that you share your advice for free, and although there isn’t a cost I view your insight as being very valuable.
Amy Waterman says
We’re glad to help! 🙂