Most women I meet are looking for love, marriage and commitment by their late twenties.
However, I constantly hear stories of these same wonderful women casually dating men and hoping at some point these guys will ask them to be exclusive. The guy never asks. He gets to skirt through their relationship with no commitment.
This usually carries on for a few months, until the woman finally confronts him and asks point-blank where this is headed.
He squirms and says one of the following:
- “I don’t know.”
- “Let’s see what happens.”
- “I like you, but I don’t want to rush into anything.”
- And so on…
First of all, I am sorry, ladies, that you have to deal with this. It stinks!
However, let me offer you an alternative to NEVER having to deal with this again.
On the second date (or even the first date, if you want), tell your date exactly what you are looking for. Say with confidence:
My life is perfect. I have a great apartment. I have a secure job that I love. All I am missing is a life partner. I would like to find him, and in the meantime I don’t want to waste time with hookups. What are you looking for?”
– Miss Confidence
Wow, what a powerful statement, right?!
Are men turned off by it?
Absolutely not! This woman has it together and knows what she wants. Her confidence is extremely sexy.
Assuming the guy she’s with is attracted to her and wants the same things she does, he is going to pursue this woman. They’re both going in the same direction.
If this guy is NOT ready for commitment, he will most likely NOT ask her on a second date, saving her time and a potentially costly investment of emotional energy.
He may not say then and there that he just wants a hookup. But he knows their goals aren’t aligned, and his actions will reflect that.
Men are lazy. If they are just looking for a hookup, they will find a woman willing to provide that. They are not going to work extremely hard to impress Miss Confidence just for a sexual encounter. It is too much work.
HOPEFULLY most men will realize she is focused on a goal, and it would be EXTREMELY CRUEL to just hook up with a woman when she set her BOUNDARIES upfront. (Men can be cruel, but most don’t do it intentionally.)
Moral of the story:
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell men what you want.
It is very sexy to confidently profess your dating goals. Once you’ve been open and honest about what you want, if he continues to see you, hold him accountable for your standard. If he can’t meet your standards, there are plenty of men who will be ecstatic to be with you. #Next!
Want More Mike?
Then make sure to watch our interview with Mike where he reveals 5 ways to show him you’re The One!
And read Mike’s other articles for Your Brilliance.