You know who you are.
You’re a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee.
You’re the person who lives at your address, drives your car, goes to your job.
But what if everything you know about yourself is just the beginning?
What if there is a part of you that goes far beyond this limited human body…
To connect you with the reason you’re here on this planet right now?
For some, that sounds like crazy talk.
For others, it feels familiar.
If you’re one of the latter, then this week’s YBTV interview is for you.
Society wife Lucinda Bakken White always wondered. She had a feeling she was meant for more than the life she was living.
But it wasn’t until her children left home that she allowed herself to find out what that feeling actually meant.
To her surprise, she found herself doing things her society friends would have NEVER considered in a million years.
She began collecting animal bones. Shaping them into art. Adorning her living space with them.
It’s a story she tells in her memoir Confessions of a Bone Woman: Realizing Authentic Wildness in a Civilized World.
Her work with bones helped her shake off the strictures, rules, and expectations of what had been, up until then, a conventional life.
She found a new self emerging, a part of herself that was wild, authentic, and free.
And she vowed to help other women rediscover the parts of themselves that had been tamed, dismissed, and trampled by everyday life.
This is your wake-up call. It’s time to start living the life you were born to lead.
What You’ll Learn
I knew from a young age that I wanted to be an elder with higher purpose. It was like my secret dream.”
Most of us have dreams.
To have a nice house. A great job. A happy family and lots of friends.
But Lucinda Bakken White had all those things, and she was exhausted.
She was drained. She had low-grade depression. She even suffered from a mysterious skin disease.
Her children were more self-sufficient now, and she had more time to herself. Should she use that time to do charity work, go out to lunch, do a spot of shopping…
Or should she use it to find herself?
The answer was staring her in the face.
I couldn’t go any further with continuing to be the dutiful housewife and the perfect mother, and the best friend and daughter I could be. I knew, ‘Okay, it’s now or never. I’m going to take a break, go inward, replenish, get in touch with who I am, and be spontaneous. Do what I want to do.'”
We think it’s normal for teens and twenty-somethings to go off and “find themselves,” but we don’t expect that of a middle-aged woman.
Surely we’re supposed to know who we are by this stage in life!
But there’s a kind of magic that happens when the last child leaves home and a woman faces life without the comfortable business of motherhood.
What is her purpose, now that her children no longer need her?
What does she want, after spending her life serving others?
For Lucinda, the only way to discover that answer was to turn inwards.
Away from the roles and masks she’d worn for so long…
And into the core of her being.
You have to stop “seeking outside yourself for an image of who you should be when all the answers are in YOU,” she explains.
We are each born with an authentic gift, a soul. It’s unique and inherent to us. It is intended that this gift is supposed to be uncovered and expressed, because it’s meant to be shared with the world, to make the world a better place.”
That’s the purpose of the second half of life:
Discovering what it means to be an elder.
“We are clearly a planet and humanity that needs elders,” Lucinda says. “If you look back to the indigenous, our ancestors, the elders were the ones that were revered and respected for their wisdom after a life well-lived. And yet we’re a modern society that overemphasizes youth, and we devalue eldership.”
This is the time in your life when you have the most to give.
Not because you’ve accumulated wealth, achievement, and status…
But because you’ve lived a rich life and have insights and wisdom to share.
When Lucinda made her shift to living from the inside out, she knew her family and long-time friends wouldn’t necessarily understand her.
But collecting animal bones and creating beautiful objects from them filled her soul so much that they could see how happy it made her.
Today, Lucinda offers custom ceremonies, personal coaching, and presentations designed to help other women go through the same journey of shaking off their masks and connecting with their inner wildness.
She’s thrilled to embrace the role of elder. “It’s the opposite of the way I used to feel,” she says. “I feel enlivened naturally from the inside out. It’s not an effort anymore … to work around the clock.”
She also offers intimate classes on her California ranch. “I bring people out to nature to connect them with nature, which automatically connects them to their inner nature.”
You can find more information about her offerings on her website.
“You have a unique inner gift that you are intended to radiate with the world,” she says. “Get in touch with it.”
Learn More about Authentic Wildness
We’re honored to have Lucinda as one of our expert authors here at Your Brilliance. Check out more of her advice on reclaiming your authentic wildness.
Jump to Topics of Interest
03:08 What it means to be tame
04:39 How to wake up
06:59 What is success?
09:59 The masks we wear as women
11:48 The comparison game
13:05 How Lucinda woke up from her life
15:38 The value of elders
19:01 Lucinda’s current projects
20:36 Your unique inner gift
About Lucinda Bakken White
Lucinda began her professional career with an MBA and a coveted position at IBM. But her deep connection with nature and insatiable quest for learning changed everything. Now, as an Inner Wildness Guide, she is an expert in the process of self-discovery and personal transformation. Through private coaching, public speaking, and writing, including her memoir Confessions of a Bone Woman, she teaches how to be authentically wild in a civilized world. Find out more.