No matter how much you’ve accomplished…
No matter how far you’ve traveled in life…
That nagging voice inside your head never goes silent for long. “Look at that mistake. Why did you do that? Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?”
Wouldn’t it be nice to shut down that internal critic for good?
Confidence coach Kimberly Hill helps even the most successful women tackle the self-judgment that keeps them from reaching for their dreams.*
She’s the creator of The Self-Confidence Project and is currently doing her own 365 Days of Self-Love challenge (which you can find out all about on YouTube).
In this week’s YBTV interview, Kimberly shares her own journey of self-love, why she got an unusual tattoo, and the tools and strategies that have helped her (and her clients) step into her most confident self.
What You’ll Learn
When Kimberly Hill was younger, she didn’t even know a job like hers existed.
Self-confidence wasn’t her strong point back then, anyway. As a teenager, she didn’t like her body. She’d flip through the glossy pages of Cosmopolitan and soak up the images of the ideal body and look.
It didn’t help that she got a bad haircut at 13, which made her look like a boy. No one in those magazines looked like her. She became depressed. There was a huge gap between what she looked like and what she thought the world wanted her to be.
She spiraled deeper into insecurity, trying to bridge that gap with destructive behaviors like bulimia and perfectionism.
But, one afternoon, she sat down to watch a movie with her mother. Her mother popped the DVD into the player. It was “The Secret.”
As Kimberly watched, she had a realization. The Law of Attraction described exactly what was going on in her own life.
“All these negative thoughts that I was putting out in the world, that I had about myself, were coming back to me,” she says.
That was the beginning of her journey to accepting herself for who she was.
She began a journaling practice where she started to express her feelings and frustrations about herself.
“Writing down how I felt, and getting those emotions out on paper, and then actually crumpling them up and throwing them away was very therapeutic for me,” she says. “I was able to get it out of my body and put it on paper and get rid of it.”
Then, one day, she decided to take it a step further.
She went to the dodgiest tattoo parlor she could find and asked for a tattoo.
The tattoo was a single word: self-acceptance.
Every day, when she woke up and got dressed, she would see that tattoo as a reminder to love herself exactly as she was. She’d remember that “it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks; it matters what I think about myself.”
That was when her life finally began to shift…
And she’s never looked back.
The Self-Confidence Project
Today, Kimberly is a confidence coach who teaches high-achieving women to overcome self-doubt so they can lead the most fulfilling lives possible.
She’s seen how confidence helps her clients achieve “better relationships, better health, better career success, all those things that start to transpire in our lives when we start to believe in ourselves and believe that we’re beautiful and believe that we’re capable.”
She wants women to know that “confidence and self-love is actually a skill that we need to develop. It’s not something that we were born with … it’s something that we have to work on.”
Unfortunately, in today’s world, confidence and appearance seem to go hand in hand. The way we look impacts how we feel about ourselves.
“So many women feel they need to fix themselves externally in order to be accepted,” Kimberly notes. But self-acceptance is an inside job.
Feeling better on the inside helps you exude confidence and beauty on the outside. “It’s like we are doing it in the wrong way,” she says.
Although there’s nothing wrong with investing time and energy in changing how you look, those fixes are only temporary.
“It doesn’t matter how much you externally change yourself, if you don’t love yourself for who you are,” she says.
How do you work on building your confidence, then?
There are a number of tools and strategies, from meditation to hiring your own coach.
Journaling can be helpful, as well as affirmations.
“Every time when we say something out loud, we’re speaking in affirmation of our truth,” Kimberly says, “and so we need to get a little bit more comfortable saying positive things about ourselves.”
It’s about celebrating our wins rather than focusing on all the things we’ve done wrong.
As Kimberly explains, “Our thoughts are controlling everything. If we think that we’re ugly or we think that we’re not worthy, that’s the message we’re telling ourselves. So if we start to tell ourselves more positive truths, that we are capable and we can do these things … it’s like, the proof is in the pudding.”
She recommends a free app called Think Up, which allows users to record their own voice saying positive affirmations over a background of meditation music.
“There’s tons of tools and strategies out there,” she says, “but really the most effective thing is going to be changing your mind. When you change your mind, you change your life.
Want weekly self-confidence reminders?
Then join Kimberly over at The Self-Confidence Project. She releases new videos every week reminding us to keep the faith and know that we are already enough. Look for her 365 Days of Self-Love Challenge, where she challenges herself to be single and travel the world for one full year, documenting the highs and lows of her self-love journey.
We’re so hard on ourselves, but really at the end of the day you want to feel good about yourself. You wake up, and you say things you love about yourself, and you set that intention. That’s when your life will radically change.”
*Since our interview, Kimberly has shifted her focus to concentrate on serving men as a dating coach, but that doesn’t mean she’s stopped serving women! Contact her to find out if her services are right for you.
Jump to Topics of Interest
2:04 How Kimberly became a confidence coach
4:05 Fixing yourself externally won’t bring confidence
5:26 Beauty doesn’t bring confidence
6:38 Self-confidence boosting strategies
8:58 How Kimberly got a tattoo
11:51 Self-acceptance is easy if you allow it to be
12:46 The Self Confidence Project
13:36 Kimberly’s coaching
14:47 The transformation process
16:13 Celebrate your wins
17:42 Believe in yourself
Kimberly is an international confidence coach who helps high-achieving women overcome self-doubt so they can achieve healthy relationships and thriving careers. Watch The Self-Confidence Project.