Wouldn’t you love to have the kind of confidence that turns heads?
To be one of those women who commands a room with her self-assurance and poise.
The confident woman never doubts herself.
She never lies awake at night worrying.
She never compares herself to others.
And she’s pure FICTION.
Mindset and sexuality coach Ivonne Monéton has a completely different view on confidence.
For her, confidence is an innate strength in your ability to figure things out and make it through.
It doesn’t mean you don’t have moments of doubt. It doesn’t mean you do everything right. It definitely doesn’t mean you’re perfect!
In this week’s YBTV interview, you’ll find out what it takes to feel confident in your body, at home in yourself, and powerful as a woman.
What You’ll Learn
Ivonne Monéton hasn’t always been confident as a woman.
Perhaps because she had the wrong definition of confidence.
In today’s world, it can feel like confidence means having it all figured out.
You’ve got the golden sparkle. 😉 You never doubt yourself. You never worry about what other people think of you.
But that kind of confidence doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things.
For Ivonne, what’s more important is this:
Do you feel an innate ability to figure it out? Do you know in your core that, no matter what happens, you’ll get through it?”
If your answer is yes, then THAT is confidence.
“When I came to the realization that I trust in myself to always find a way forward, I find that I’m incredibly confident,” she says.
You don’t have to erase self-doubt. You can question yourself sometimes. Those are just moments; they don’t define you.
The Confidence Muscle
But sometimes your confidence can be shaken by other people.
They’re so amazing, and you’re just… well… ordinary.
“We’ve grown up thinking that we are always someone in comparison to somebody else,” Ivonne explains. “We’re always better or worse than someone.”
That’s why she doesn’t believe that feeling better than everyone else (or even as good as everyone else) is really confidence.
Instead, she sees confidence as a muscle.
It’s “coming home to that knowing, that innate strength inside of you.”
If you’re here today and you’re watching this show, you’ve made it. You’ve solved many things in your life…. You’ve survived. You’ve made it through. You found a solution. And hopefully you’ve learned, so you can better solve them in the future.”
Feminine Power and Confidence
Do women relate to power and confidence differently to men?
Although men and women are the same on an energetic level—we’re all human—we relate to our bodies and our biological sex in different ways.
Feminine confidence comes down to how you relate to your female body.
Am I coming to this experience as a human in full love and reverence of being in a female body? Do I enjoy this body? Am I really in acceptance of this experience I’m having, or am I rejecting it from preconceived notions?”
Power, on the other hand, is tricky.
When Ivonne talks about power, she’s not talking about power over other people.
“Real power is not something that can be taken from you. It’s something that is already you,” she explains.
True power is the ability to create and co-create with both masculine and feminine energy, which all women and all men have inside them.
Why Do We Stop Feeling Confident?
For many women, their confidence and sense of ease within their body take a hit during their teen years.
As they go through puberty, their bodies change. Their peers start to relate to them differently. Their sexuality starts to awaken.
It can be confusing and disorienting.
Often, girls have no one to talk to about those changes. They have no one to validate and reassure them.
Having those conversations would go a long way towards helping girls preserve their confidence.
But in the meantime, many of us adult women still feel ill at ease in our bodies.
How do we get our trust in ourselves back again?
Healing Your Feminine Confidence
If you put a group of 20 women in a room naked, you’d immediately notice how different each woman looks.
Real human female bodies look quite different to what we see in the media and advertising.
It’s incredibly healing to see other women’s natural bodies, Ivonne says.
We begin to understand that our physical diversity doesn’t make us ugly. It makes us gorgeously female.
“Our body doesn’t actually betray us,” Ivonne says. “It’s our beliefs of what our body should be that betray our body.”
To help unpack those beliefs, Ivonne encourages women to reflect on three questions:
- “How much of what I love and hate about my femininity, or my female experience, or what I define to be feminine, comes from external definitions?”
- “How much of my life is my truth, versus me conforming to socially accepted norms?”
- “How much of me is being defined by resistance to something?”
What Feminine Confidence Feels Like
As you go through that journey, you learn to finally feel good inside your body.
You feel at home. You feel integrated.
You just feel like you. You don’t feel like there’s anything you have to prove, or there’s anything that you have to fight against. Essentially, you know your worth. You are life. You’re worthy. You feel in alignment. You feel authentic.”
“It’s important for us to encourage each woman to express their femininity in their own way and in their own beautiful expression,” Ivonne says.
“One of my biggest healing journeys has been through my own sexuality, my own understanding of my body. I find that in today’s world we live so head-heavy that we forget that we have this beautiful body to enjoy and to live with.”
Ivonne is an international globetrotter, entrepreneur, creative soul, wifey, and mindful thinker. She believes in women and the power we can create together. She’s on a mission to help us cherish our womanly nature. Her mission is to empower all women to become the woman we were born to be.