The world is changing so fast, yet I’ve never been more excited for the future of love.
Because I know something that a lot of people don’t…
Right now, a lot of people see the chaos created by dating apps, the high divorce rate, and the entitled behavior, and they wish they could wash their hands of love.
It’s so messy, frustrating, and disappointing.
Women who’ve been raised to believe in the purity of love and the rewards of giving your heart fully to another, find themselves brokenhearted and feeling used.
Is there no respect in love anymore?
The Nostalgia Trap
It’s tempting to wish we were back in the 1950s, when everyone knew their roles and marriage meant forever.
But, as historian Stephanie Coontz explains, that’s the “nostalgia trap.”
If we actually LIVED in the 1950s, we’d find that our lives would feel even MORE dissatisfying and difficult than they do today. (Just read The Feminine Mystique!)
Today, as women, we enjoy so much freedom…
(And yes, that freedom makes life more than a little chaotic!)
But that freedom also makes possible the very BEST marriages in the history of humanity.
Better Marriages Than Any in HISTORY?
That’s not just my opinion.
That’s the assertion of Dr. Eli Finkel, widely considered “the most influential relationship scientist in the 21st century.”
He argues that the freedoms we have today make possible the very best marriages that have EVER EXISTED.
Can you imagine?
You could have a better marriage than ANYONE in your family, dating back generations and generations.
You could be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled in your relationship than ALL the women who came before you.
And that’s all possible because you live TODAY.
Let me explain…
Old-School Marriages Weren’t About Being Happy
In the past, love and personal happiness played only a minor role in marriage.
In the 1950s, marriage was a rite of passage. It transformed you into a productive adult. You settled down to work, raise a family, and contribute to your community.
If you weren’t happy in your marriage, you found happiness in other ways. Perhaps through your children or your hobbies.
Your husband’s job wasn’t to make you happy. It was to go to work each day. He expected dinner on the table and peace and quiet when he came home.
For the women of the 1950s, that was enough.
But the women of 2020s dream of more.
A Brand-New Relationship Vision
Today, most of us believe that a relationship is not a legal arrangement but rather a heart connection.
We believe that love is about happiness and intimacy and being each other’s biggest fan.
The ideal marriage of today is between two psychologically healthy people who support each other, cheer each other on, and believe in each other.
Is it no wonder that these modern relationships are so much happier than the marriages that came before?
Ask Yourself This
Which would you prefer…
To marry your best friend, a man who understands you and laughs with you and loves every minute he gets to spend with you…
Or to marry a powerful, wealthy man whose work keeps him distant from you but provides you with a luxurious home and yearly vacations?
A 1950s woman would be encouraged to consider how well a man can provide for her, even if she didn’t have strong feelings for him.
But today the idea of walking away from love so that you can marry money feels preposterous.
A Happy Marriage Is Worth More Than All The Money in The World
We now know that our happiness in this lifetime depends on the strength of our emotional connections.
People make us happy, not products or power.
Unfortunately, a lot of the dating advice floating around is based on a 1950s worldview.
It forces you back into that old model. It appeals to old-school men who want an old-style relationship.
What we need is NEW advice.
Advice that attracts men willing and capable of being extraordinary partners.
That’s what I believe The Pleasure Principle does.
It’s the first step towards a new breed of dating advice, one that helps us become strong, healthy, and discerning as we search for love.
Let us know what you think!