Mat Shaffer Reveals 3 Dating Mistakes Women Make

It would be so nice if someone would just have your back and remind you of your awesomeness…

Someone who could give you guidance when you needed it…

Someone who really knew his stuff. Who really cared about you. Who could help you believe in yourself and your brilliance.

Dating right now feels like the Wild West. There are no clear rules. You never know what men mean. You get your hopes up only to be disappointed again and again.

That’s where Mat Shaffer comes in.

Mat is an empowerment and love coach who serves thousands of big-hearted women worldwide through his coaching programs and online courses. You can find him on YouTube, where his 50K subscribers hang on his every word.

He loves helping women cultivate deep connection and personal empowerment, so they can experience freedom, joy and fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives.

You’re about to discover why attachment is your #1 enemy when it comes to creating genuine connection. You’ll find out why your focus is your superpower and where to direct it for maximum effect. You’ll also learn why your hidden beliefs are running the show, and how to transform them into ones that serve you.

Are you ready to meet your (possibly) future dating coach? Then dive on in!

Mastery of Connection

What You’ll Learn

Mat Shaffer almost didn’t end up as a coach.

“Honestly, it was a long and winding road to get here, and it nearly killed me,” he says.

Before he discovered personal development, he was running his life into the ground. He’d become an attorney and absolutely hated it. Then he owned and operated a restaurant. When the restaurant began to fail, he found himself engaging in self-destructive behaviors.

“I started having this crisis of identity,” he says. “I just was like, ‘Who am I?’ because I had identified myself with what I was doing rather than who I was.”

He realized he had a choice: he could either figure out where his life wasn’t working and who he really was … or he was going to die.

He launched himself on a journey of personal discovery. He came to coaching through a leadership program.

“I had a massive awakening as I coached hundreds and thousands of people from around the world,” he says. This was his life’s purpose.

As I learned to connect with myself at a deeper level, I started to heal. I started to release all these layers of pain and delusion that I had created about myself. I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is so amazing. I’m going to spend the rest of my life sharing this with the world.’ Three years later, I’ve probably reached three million people.”

Today, he runs courses for women all over the world.

And he wants to invite you to come along with him.

Get Your Free Ticket to a Journey of Self-Discovery

If you’ve tried every book and video and exercise out there, you know how frustrating it is to feel like you’re doing everything you could possibly do, but you’re still not getting any results.

That’s where coaching comes in.

Coaching gives you the personal support, accountability, and tailored guidance you need to make real shifts in your life.

But hiring a coach takes time and money you may not have.

Until now…

Would you like to work with Mat absolutely free?

If you would like to have someone on your side, guiding you through the art of deep and true connection with a man, then Mat wants to meet you.

For a limited time, he’s opening up his flagship course Mastery of Connection, and if you join as a beta tester, you get in for absolutely free.

“I created this course and I’m sharing it with the world so that we can all become more conscious in the way we connect with others and more importantly with ourselves,” Mat says.

If you’ve never experienced coaching before, if you’ve wished you could ask a dating coach about what he’d recommend for your situation, then this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join an incredible group of women on a journey to open their hearts and invite love in.

You Deserve Close and Nurturing Connections

This is an unusual time to be thinking about connection.

Right now, many of us feel incredibly disconnected. We’re isolated at home. We’re missing human contact.

For Mat, that makes this topic more important than ever.

“I truly believe that connection is why we’re here on this planet,” he says.

Even though social distancing seems to be pulling us apart, it’s giving us an opportunity to become more conscious about how we want to connect.

“If we want to reach out to somebody, if we want to cultivate a relationship with someone,” Mat says, “we get to do it with intentionality, because we don’t have that physical closeness that creates connection by default.”

Connection isn’t going to happen by chance. There’s an art to it, and Mat wants to show us how.

The #1 Dating Mistake You’re Making

Attachment is the primary source and generator of disappointment in dating, and it’s actually cutting us off from connection.”

There’s one thing that’s keeping you from creating a close and genuine connection with men:

Attachments.

What are you holding onto? What do you expect? How are those expectations cutting you off from real connection?

Attachment comes in many forms, Mat says: “attachment to outcome, attachment to this person being a certain way, attachment to me feeling a certain way, attachment to my story of what love is supposed to look and feel like.”

In his Mastery of Connection course, he helps women uncover their hidden attachments and release them.

That work is incredibly important. “We bring our attachments into our connections with men,” he says.

“I can tell you as a man who’s out there dating … you can feel it when a woman enters what I call the relational container.” The relational container, he explains, is the space you create when you’re in connection with a man.

No matter how compatible you may have been, no matter how great the conversation was, “if the energy within the space doesn’t work right, because of the attachments and the projections that we’re bringing into it, there’s not going to be any meaningful connection.”

The #2 Dating Mistake You’re Making

Your focus is your superpower. How you choose to show up in the present moment is your primary point of attraction and creation.”

Another area that trips us up is where we focus our attention on a date.

All too often, we focus all our attention on him. What he thinks of us. How he’s feeling. How we can get him to like us.

For Mat, that’s a mistake.

Your primary focus should be on the way you’re showing up.

“When you show up on a date, your primary intent is not to focus on his walls, his blocks, his stuff. Your primary intent is to show up as your deepest and most authentic self,” Mat says.

He tells his clients to “pick three feminine, magnetic, irresistible ways of being that perfectly represent your truest, most authentic self, and commit to showing up that way on this date.”

He also recommends that his clients check in with themselves every half hour and ask, “Would my friends and family recognize me right now?”

Unfortunately, many of us bend ourselves into a pretzel to make a good impression. “Trust me when I say that’s not the way to create a sustainable, lasting connection with a man,” Mat says.

“The way he responds to you, the way he interprets you, that is not your problem,” Mat explains. So take the “pressure off of yourself to make him feel or act or be a certain way.”

“Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business,” he adds. “As long as you’re doing your best to show up deeply and authentically as yourself, then you did your job.”

The #3 Dating Mistake You’re Making

One of the biggest transformational pieces of this course is helping liberate you from the beliefs and patterns that aren’t serving you, so that you can create meaningful relationships both with yourself and out in the world.”

Mat knows what it feels like to cling to beliefs that don’t serve you.

“That was the first big lightbulb that went off for me,” he says, “as I started looking at why I was in so much pain and why I was engaging in so much self-destructive behavior” when his career as a restaurateur was collapsing.

“It was because my whole entire life was run by a belief that I wasn’t worthy of love, that I wasn’t worthy of happiness, and that I had ruined my life at thirty,” he says.

Believing that you’re worthy of love and happiness isn’t easy. That’s where Mastery of Connection comes in.

“I give you a framework to understand and identify your beliefs and transfer them and transition them into ones that serve you,” Mat says.

No matter what you’ve experienced up until now—no matter what relationships you’ve experienced, no matter what trauma you’ve experienced, no matter what ups or downs or lefts or rights you’ve experienced in your life—the moment you are in right now is brand-new.”

You can create what you want to create.

“If you commit to doing the work, if you commit to loving yourself, and if you commit to really loving others in a deep and meaningful way, it is miraculous what’s possible for you in the world,” Mat says, “and I’d love to be a part of your journey.”

Jump to Topics of Interest

1:49 Quarantine life
3:13 Connection is more important than ever
5:08 Attachment
8:19 Your focus is your superpower
11:16 Other people’s opinions of you are not your business
13:35 Mat’s personal journey
16:35 Beliefs that serve you
19:00 The Mastery of Connection coaching experience
20:53 Signing up
22:21 Your power is in the present moment