In the 20th Century:
Falling in love is just the beginning.
In the 21st Century:
Falling in love is the whole point.
Every love story begins with falling in love.
Few love stories end with loving each other for a lifetime.
Why?
Because to get from falling in love to lifetime love, you’ve got to jump “the gap.”
Most couples don’t make it. (And many don’t even try.)
Why choose the boredom and hard work of making a life with someone when you could experience the magic and thrill of falling in love over and over again?
If you want a lifetime of love, mind the gap.
Have You Started Yet?
Which kind of love affair do you want to have:
- The kind you see on your favorite shows and hear about in your favorite songs? or…
- The boring, unexceptional kind you see at family reunions?
For many singles today, the choice is obvious.
They want intensity in their love lives. They want the high. They want the novelty and challenge.
Once that falling-in-love feeling fades, they’re done.
They see no reason to jump the gap. They’re not in love anymore.
What they don’t realize is that they never even started to love.
Hard Work or Good Feels?
Real love is the choice to extend oneself to nourish and support another.
It’s an act of will. You love your family even if they annoy and irritate you.
Falling in love, on the other hand, is obsessed with personally-rewarding feelings.
You want to be with the other person because it feels so darn GOOD!!
Falling in love is one of those rare times in life when someone thinks you’re absolutely wonderful, they want to know everything about you, and everything you do makes them happy.
Men Want to Fall in Love
Men in particular thrive in these moments.
What man wouldn’t want to feel like he’s the most amazing person a woman has ever met?
Unlike his exes, this woman asks for nothing; she’s grateful for everything he does for her. She doesn’t demand or criticize or expect more.
He doesn’t want to jump the gap.
He wants to stay on the falling-in-love side forever.
Questions to consider:
- Where is my relationship? The falling-in-love side, the hard-work-of-love side, or stuck in the gap?
- If you haven’t jumped the gap yet, is there any evidence that he values or wants what’s on the other side?
- What happens when that falling-in-love feeling fades? Do I feel like I have to keep him “in love” indefinitely?
P.S. Nobody wants to be strung along. Nobody wants to put their whole self into a relationship only to find out that their partner has just been playing them.
Let us know what you think!