We’ve been fed this story that women need men more than men need women.
Women are the ones chasing after men. Men, in contrast, are commitment-phobes who would happily live out their lives as eternal bachelors if they could.
Luckily, we live in a world where we don’t have to go by stories. We can turn to the data for real answers.
So what does the data say?
It says that men need women MORE than women need men.
Fact #1: Men want marriage as much as women.
Men are just as likely as women to say that marriage is important to them and that they plan to get married someday.
Once they’re in a relationship, they’re just as committed as women. One in two men is “almost certain” that his current relationship is going to last forever.[1]
Even divorce doesn’t put most men off marriage. Men who are divorced or widowed are much more likely than women to say they want to get married again.
And men do indeed tend to get remarried at higher rates than women—not because women can’t find a partner, but because a huge chunk of divorced or widowed women (54%) have no interest at all in marrying again.[2]
Fact #2: Women want out of marriage more than men.
If women were desperate to get married and stay married, you’d expect that they’d be the last ones to ask for a divorce.
But that’s not true. Women initiate the overwhelming majority of divorces, a whopping 69%.[3]
What’s interesting is that this only applies to marriage. When it comes to casual or cohabitating relationships, both genders initiate breakups equally.
Fact #3: Marriage is better for men than it is for women.
Maybe men want to be married so much because they know how good it is for them.
Married men earn nearly twice as much as single men. For example, the average income of a 40-year-old married man is $80,000/year, compared to just $46,000 for a single man.[4]
Married men are also healthier and happier than bachelors, thanks to the emotional labor wives put into making sure their husbands eat well, go to the doctor, and take time for friends.
Fact #4: Men are still outsourcing their feminine side to women.
Over the past decades, women have increasingly identified with masculine traits such as being assertive, outspoken, and dominant.[5]
They don’t need a man to be their protector when they feel perfectly capable of protecting themselves.
Men, on the other hand, haven’t cultivated their feminine side at the same rate as women have cultivated their masculine side.
What this means is that men still need women for their feminine qualities. They need women to bring that warmth, nurturing, softness and vulnerability to their lives.
So who needs who more: men or women?
I think the answer is pretty clear!
Do you have anything else to add? If you’ve got any other reasons men need women more than we need them, let me know in the comments!
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201407/who-craves-relationships-more-men-or-women
[2] https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/11/14/chapter-2-the-demographics-of-remarriage/
[3] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/08/150822154900.htm
[4] https://research.stlouisfed.org/publications/economic-synopses/2018/09/14/married-men-sit-atop-the-wage-ladder
[5] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-016-0625-y
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