You might assume, from the media, that Americans have lost all their inhibitions around jumping into bed together.
Compared to our grandparents, surely we’re getting it on at record rates.
But the research is in…
And it’s proving the media wrong.
Americans are having less sex—and it’s been on a steady decline since the mid 1990s.
When I was a college student, just under 15% of young people 18 to 29 weren’t getting it on.
Today, that number has jumped to 24%.
About 1 in 4 young people hasn’t slept with anyone in the past year.
Why?
Because they’re spending less time socializing with friends. Less time drinking. Less time partying.
More time on their devices.
Call it “The Netflix Effect.”
When Netflix Is Easier Than Getting Naked
Although “Netflix and chill” has gone down in the lexicon as a euphemism for getting it on, for many modern couples Netflix is the ONLY thing on the menu.
Which would you rather do:
Binge-watch your favorite show… or get it on with your partner?
Which is easier?
And it’s not just Netflix. When your partner stays up late gaming and you go to bed at a decent time because you have work the next day, your intimate life suffers.
Most of us know that intimacy is important to keep feeling connected.
But with our busy lives and how exhausted we are at the end of the day, it can be hard to coordinate.
It’s Not Just Netflix
While it’s easy to blame devices for everything—and they definitely should take some of the blame—they’re not the only reason we’re not getting it on as often as before.
One huge reason?
Stress.
The busier you are, the more exhausted you are, the more your mind is filled with ALL the things you have to do…
The more you might prefer folding the mountain of laundry to “wasting” time in bed.
I’m sure you’ve heard the research showing that men who do more housework get more nookie in the bedroom.
It’s not just because men look hot bending over the kitchen sink.😉
It’s also because sharing the chores frees up spare time.
And having time to rest in the evening—rather than working late or being so mentally exhausted you just want to zone out in front of a screen—is key.
Solution: Make Intimacy BETTER Than Netflix
One of my classic articles on what women fantasize about struck a chord, because it openly discussed how our desire for intimacy is affected by our home and family lives.
The response to that article planted a seed in me.
Maybe I’d write a book about intimacy someday—about what women need from it, rather than what men want.
When what we do in bed is about what our partners like and want, it’s hard to muster the same amount of enthusiasm.
But when we know what WE need—how our bodies work, what shuts us down, what makes us feel alive—we want to turn off the TV and snuggle down with our partner.
And here’s that book—your guide to making intimacy better than Netflix.
Let us know what you think!