Ever heard of the term “boysober”?
It’s a hip way to talk about the choice to be celibate, and it’s a choice many young women feel is making them healthier.
They’re taking time for them.
They’re using the break to rethink what they want out of relationships.
They’re doing healing work to release years of pain and heartbreak.
And when they return to dating, they’ll be more intentional about it.
They’ll reject any entanglement that makes their life more stressful.
They’ll hold out for a relationship that’s better than the pleasures and comforts of being on their own.
Better Than “Celibacy”
Although Melissa Febos doesn’t use the term, she writes about her year of abstaining from intimacy in her recent memoir The Dry Season.
For her, making the decision to be celibate for a certain period of time (at first, it was just 3 months, then she extended it) was a way of becoming more conscious about how she was living her life.
Pursuing hookups and relationships had become a habit, something she did on autopilot.
What was she missing by doing that?
What could she do with all the time and energy it freed up?
Better Than Being Single?
When you’re single by choice, it feels different than when you feel forced into being single.
You’re leaning into your freedom and independence. You’re exploring your power to live life on your own terms.
You’re also giving yourself a baseline:
If this is how happy you can be on your own, then a relationship will have to be better than that to tempt you away.
What do you think?
Let us know what you think!