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The Art of Finding the Right Guy

Dating

Never Date An Alpha Male

alpha male

A lot of men genuinely believe that women are only attracted to alpha males.

They believe—and this is going to gross you out—that women are “programmed” to constantly keep an eye out for higher status “males” [Read more…] about Never Date An Alpha Male

Let Go of Past Pain

let go of past pain

What’s the most awful, horrific thing that’s happened to you in relationships?

For me, it was experiencing the sheer hatred of a man who, once he no longer had me, desired to destroy me.

It’s happened to me more than once over my life. It always catches me off guard. [Read more…] about Let Go of Past Pain

Why He Doesn’t Treat You Well

flirting couple

There’s something else Mat Shaffer says in our interview that I think is helpful:

Our relationships are a mirror “for where we are at in our own journey within ourselves.”

If you’re having beautiful, healthy relationships, that’s great news! [Read more…] about Why He Doesn’t Treat You Well

When You Do Everything Right & Still Can’t Find Good Love

woman looking in mirror

Here’s something I didn’t understand back in my twenties:

You attract who you are.

Not what you WANT, but who you ARE.

That’s a quote from Mat Shaffer’s interview with me, [Read more…] about When You Do Everything Right & Still Can’t Find Good Love

Is He a Dater or a Relater?

dater or relater

In the 20th Century:
If a guy says he’s open to a relationship, he’s open to a relationship.

In the 21st Century:
His behavior will show you if he’s open to a relationship. [Read more…] about Is He a Dater or a Relater?

Don’t Work on Being More Attractive – Do THIS

woman putting on makeup

In the 20th Century:
Be more attractive to men.

In the 21st Century:
Practice the hard skills of loving.

It seemed so obvious at the time: [Read more…] about Don’t Work on Being More Attractive – Do THIS

What’s Wrong With You??

what's wrong with you?

In the 20th Century:
It’s your responsibility to be attractive.

In the 21st Century:
It’s your “responsibility” to be attractive. (Airquotes intended.) [Read more…] about What’s Wrong With You??

Be The Woman Who Truly “Gets” Him

be the one who truly gets him

In the 20th Century:
The best way to show him love is to do nice things for him.

In the 21st Century:
The best way to show him love is to understand him. [Read more…] about Be The Woman Who Truly “Gets” Him

The Experience He’s Seeking: Is It You?

the experience he's seeking

In the 20th Century:
He wants a catch.

In the 21st Century:
He wants someone who makes him feel alive.

Yes, you could be slim and gorgeous and accomplished and fascinating… [Read more…] about The Experience He’s Seeking: Is It You?

You Should Ask Him Lots of Questions, Right?

dating couple

In the 20th Century:
Interrogate.

In the 21st Century:
Invite.

If you want to get to know someone, what’s the first thing you do? [Read more…] about You Should Ask Him Lots of Questions, Right?

Don’t Impress Him, PLEASE

couple on a date

In the 20th Century:
Impress.

In the 21st Century:
Connect.

No wonder we get so nervous about meeting new people. [Read more…] about Don’t Impress Him, PLEASE

From Serial Killers to Heartbreak: Rethinking Safety in Love

couple smiling

In the 20th Century:
Safety means making sure he’s not a serial killer or just wants to get in your pants.

In the 21st Century:
Safety means building trust, communication, boundaries, and accountability into your relationship. [Read more…] about From Serial Killers to Heartbreak: Rethinking Safety in Love

We Are Most Attracted To People Who…

kissing couple

In the 20th Century:
Attractiveness is objective.

In the 21st Century:
Attraction is subjective.

Line up a group of men in a row. [Read more…] about We Are Most Attracted To People Who…

Guys Just Care About Looks, Don’t They?

loving couple

In the 20th Century:
Appearance matters.

In the 21st Century:
Familiarity matters.

I can’t believe the wool has been pulled over our eyes for so long. [Read more…] about Guys Just Care About Looks, Don’t They?

What Flappers Can Teach You About Love

flapper

In the 19th Century:
Love comes to you.

In the 21st Century:
You go to love.

Up until about a hundred years ago, young women waited at home for love to come calling – quite literally! [Read more…] about What Flappers Can Teach You About Love

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Are you done playing by the rules?

The Pleasure Principle by Amy Waterman

UNLEASH YOUR CHARISMA

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