In the 20th Century:
The purpose of marriage is to settle down and raise a family.
In the 21st Century:
The purpose of marriage is to live your best life.
In the past, you made most of your major life decisions by your early twenties.
You chose a profession. You found a man to marry. You settled down in one place.
The rest of your life played out as variations on the same theme.
That’s not how it is anymore.
Today, a young women in her mid-twenties is still discovering herself.
An adult woman in menopause is still discovering herself!
She’s not locked into the choices she made in the past.
She can reinvent herself as often as she needs to.
And she needs a marriage that can keep up with her.
What Marriage Is For
It’s time for marriage to get a new job description.
Men and women no longer need each other for practical support. Men can cook their own dinner and do their own laundry. Women can have careers and pay their own bills.
What men and women still need each other for…
And will ALWAYS need each other for…
Is emotional support.
Romantic relationships provide a safe haven and a secure base.
Having a supportive partner helps you take bigger risks. If you fall, he’s there to catch you. You’re more resilient when you’re well-loved.
Can He Do That?
Traditionally, women have been expected provide emotional support to the entire family, while men have not.
This mismatch between the new marriage job description and men’s skills will continue to cause disruption for some time to come.
Questions to consider:
- Does he think he’s being supportive of you? Why do you think you have different definitions of “being supportive”?
- Many men have a complicated relationship with female emotions. Ask him: “When I get emotional, how do you feel?
- When do you feel most supported by him? Can you build on that experience?
Let us know what you think!