Look For This Clue to How He Feels

Do you think it’s possible for a man to love you a lot and just never show it?

Do you think it’s possible for a man to be totally selfish and still love you?

Do you think it’s possible for a man to be incredibly hurtful and still love you?

Interesting questions, aren’t they?

It used to be, the answer to all these questions was yes.

It was rude to even suggest your boyfriend/husband might not love you.

He was with you, wasn’t he? If he was with you, that meant he loved you. Case closed.

(Same went for your parents. No matter how your parents treated you, everyone took for granted they loved you. If you questioned that, you were rude and disrespectful.)

The world has changed since then—and I think for the better.

Today, we realize that everyone experiences emotions differently.

Your feeling of love isn’t his feeling of love. (Just like your perception of the color red may not be his perception of the color red.)

The Proof of How We Feel Is How We Act

Researchers can’t get inside someone’s heart and quantify a feeling, so what they do instead is pay attention to how emotions change our behaviors.

You can guess what someone is feeling by how they’re behaving.

An angry person might get louder and make aggressive movements.
A fearful person might shrink and get quiet.
A loving person might touch their beloved and smile sweetly at them.

With this in mind, let’s look at those questions again.

Does His Behavior Show Love?

If a man is hurtful, selfish, and/or never shows how he feels, then what does his behavior tell you about what he’s feeling?

Well, there doesn’t seem to be any love in there.

Someone can claim they love you when in fact what they’re feeling is possessiveness, obsession, dependency, or something else entirely.

When you love someone, it shows up in your behavior.

You want to touch them, smile at them, appreciate them, support them, comfort them, do nice things for them, see them smile, be with them, be close to them.

Your behavior shows your feelings, even if you never say a word.

Questions to consider:

If you only had his actions to go by, would you still believe he loves you?

What other feelings could explain his behavior towards you?