Tough truth:
We blame men for breaking our hearts.
But sometimes we break our own hearts.
We mistake the high for love.
You know the high I mean:
- That rush of knowing when you meet someone new and you think he’s The One.
- That urge to lock him down forever because you feel so alive with him.
- That voice in your head saying, “This is fate. Don’t screw it up.”
Except…
That’s not destiny talking. That’s brain chemistry.
You’ve got to wait for that intoxication to fade before you can see the next right step clearly.
Love Science
Once upon a time, science left love to the poets and mystics. Love was fated by the stars. Love at first sight was two souls recognizing each other.
It’s a beautiful story, but that’s all it is: a story.
Now we know what’s really happening.
We know that instant attraction is a chemical cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin, designed by Nature to do one thing:
Get you to mate and produce offspring that will carry on your genes.
The euphoric high is not meant to help you pick your future husband. It’s meant to get you in bed.
Watch Out for “Love Goggles”
Your brain on love looks a lot like your brain on alcohol. Everything is warm and glowy. You feel so happy. You want to feel like this forever.
But just like you wouldn’t make a life-changing decision while drunk…
So you shouldn’t make one while love-drunk, either.
When you’re love drunk, you can feel desperate to lock a man down. You think he’s the key to your happiness.
But that’s those “love goggles” talking.
Tough But True
The more desperate you feel, the more you need to take a step back.
Let your sober brain come back online.
It may take weeks; it may take longer. You’ll know it’s back when he starts to irritate you. He’s not as perfect as you thought he was.
That’s when your relationship gets real. You can see the pros and cons. You can make a decision with your head as well as your heart.
Until then, assume you’re operating under the influence of love intoxicants and act accordingly.
(And if he’s envisioning your future together after just a few dates? He’s “drunk” on love, too.)
This one simple habit—enjoying the feeling of being drunk on love, but not jumping to any conclusions until you sober up—can help you avoid a lot of heartache.
Let us know what you think!