Here’s something I didn’t understand back in my twenties:
You attract who you are.
Not what you WANT, but who you ARE.
That’s a quote from Mat Shaffer’s interview with me, [Read more…] about When You Do Everything Right & Still Can’t Find Good Love
How to Find the One
Dating Advice
Is He a Dater or a Relater?
In the 20th Century:
If a guy says he’s open to a relationship, he’s open to a relationship.
In the 21st Century:
His behavior will show you if he’s open to a relationship. [Read more…] about Is He a Dater or a Relater?
You’ll End Up Married, Won’t You?
In the 20th Century:
You deserve your own happy-ever-after.
In the 21st Century:
You have free will to make choices.
Back in the early days of my career, I used to reassure people: [Read more…] about You’ll End Up Married, Won’t You?
What’s Wrong With You??
In the 20th Century:
It’s your responsibility to be attractive.
In the 21st Century:
It’s your “responsibility” to be attractive. (Airquotes intended.) [Read more…] about What’s Wrong With You??
Rethinking “Living Your Best Life”
In the 20th Century:
Men are only attracted to women living their best life.
In the 21st Century:
Your best life may not leave you with room for anyone else.
I came of age in the 1990s, and all the women’s magazines I devoured told me the same thing: [Read more…] about Rethinking “Living Your Best Life”
The Experience He’s Seeking: Is It You?
In the 20th Century:
He wants a catch.
In the 21st Century:
He wants someone who makes him feel alive.
Yes, you could be slim and gorgeous and accomplished and fascinating… [Read more…] about The Experience He’s Seeking: Is It You?
The Best Friend Test
In the 20th Century:
You have a spouse and a best friend.
In the 21st Century:
Your spouse is your best friend.
My grandmother never would have called her husband her best friend. [Read more…] about The Best Friend Test
You Never Have To Be Lonely Again
In the 20th Century:
When we’re lonely and yearn for companionship, we long for love.
In the 21st Century:
When we’re lonely and yearn for companionship, we unlock our phone. [Read more…] about You Never Have To Be Lonely Again
Your New Love Coach?
In the 20th Century:
You get love advice from experts, friends, family, and the media.
In the 21st Century:
You also get love advice from AI.
Have you asked ChatGPT for love advice? [Read more…] about Your New Love Coach?
You Should Ask Him Lots of Questions, Right?
In the 20th Century:
Interrogate.
In the 21st Century:
Invite.
If you want to get to know someone, what’s the first thing you do? [Read more…] about You Should Ask Him Lots of Questions, Right?
Don’t Impress Him, PLEASE
In the 20th Century:
Impress.
In the 21st Century:
Connect.
No wonder we get so nervous about meeting new people. [Read more…] about Don’t Impress Him, PLEASE
Men Are All The Same
In the 20th Century:
All men are the same.
In the 21st Century:
Every man is different.
Pop psychology deals in stereotypes. [Read more…] about Men Are All The Same
From Serial Killers to Heartbreak: Rethinking Safety in Love
In the 20th Century:
Safety means making sure he’s not a serial killer or just wants to get in your pants.
In the 21st Century:
Safety means building trust, communication, boundaries, and accountability into your relationship. [Read more…] about From Serial Killers to Heartbreak: Rethinking Safety in Love
We Are Most Attracted To People Who…
In the 20th Century:
Attractiveness is objective.
In the 21st Century:
Attraction is subjective.
Line up a group of men in a row. [Read more…] about We Are Most Attracted To People Who…
Guys Just Care About Looks, Don’t They?
In the 20th Century:
Appearance matters.
In the 21st Century:
Familiarity matters.
I can’t believe the wool has been pulled over our eyes for so long. [Read more…] about Guys Just Care About Looks, Don’t They?
