What He Wants You to Wear

He’s scared to death it will happen to you.

When you first started dating, he loved what you wore.

Those cute little boots. Those sassy skirts. The shirts that hugged your body and showed a hint of cleavage.

He wanted to be with you so much that he convinced himself it would be different this time.

You wouldn’t change. Living together would just make things better. He’d still get to see those sassy skirts and skin-hugging shirts, but from close-up, all the time.

Months later, he’s discovered he was wrong.

Those uncomfortable boots are buried in the back of your closet. You’ve lived in jeans for weeks. And the cleavage boosters are back in the drawer, because they’re not safe for work.

Men love the clothes we wear when we’re dating.

Men tolerate the clothes we wear when we’re in a comfortable relationship.

It’s a law of the known universe, which we ignore at our peril:

The more comfortable you get with someone, the less effort you make.

The beauty of being in a relationship, after all, is that he loves you regardless of what you’re wearing.

It feels amazing to know he’s not judging you on your appearance. He loves WHO you are, with the body that came with you. If that body changes, well, love is more than physical.

In our delight with finally being able to relax into a comfortable relationship, we forget something.

We forget that our body is a feast for his eyes.

We forget that our looks feed his hunger for beauty.

We forget that he fell in love with us when we were wearing that sassy skirt and those sexy boots, and maybe he’d appreciate them making a reappearance every now and then.

We shouldn’t forget the obvious, but we do.

We forget that we have the most absolutely gorgeous bodies.

There’s a reason almost every classic nude was painted from a female model. The hourglass form is classic.

But the clothes we wear don’t always celebrate our feminine figure.

Lumpy sweatshirts. Baggy sweatpants. Big, bulky coats.

In particular, the clothes we wear around the house when we don’t have to go anywhere and no one is going to see us.

Loose cotton clothing is comfortable. No question there.

But the problem with the standard American uniform of jeans, sweatshirt and sneakers is that guys wear the same thing as girls. Pick unisex styles, up the size to XXL, throw on a baseball cap, and you’re twins.

One reason everyone fell in love with “Mad Men” was the period fashion. The women dressed like women, and the men dressed like men. You knew who was wearing the silk suit and who was donning the pink ballgown.

Unisex fashion has brought down the price of basics, but it hasn’t done any favors to the female figure. Instead, it’s just encouraged more women to wear men’s clothes.

(Imagine if “unisex” meant making women’s clothes in bigger sizes so that men could wear them, too—a real fashion revolution!)

There’s not a man alive who’s going to deny your right to wear comfy clothes.

There’s not a boyfriend out there who’s going to get upset when you throw on his faded sweatshirt from college. (Especially if you wear it with nothing but knickers.)

But every single guy fantasizes, every now and then, that his girlfriend would wear unrealistic clothes.

Clothes that are too tight. Too short. Too revealing.

The kind of clothes she wore in the beginning, before their relationship got comfortable.

There’s a simple compromise:

Vow only to wear clothes that make you feel gorgeous.

Clothes that remind you you’re a woman.

Clothes he could never mistake for his own.

Loose, flowing sundresses. Soft fleece-lined boots. Figure-hugging tops that hold everything in.

Because no woman can be expected to break out her dating wardrobe every day.

But she can be expected to show off her beauty.

Eva Mendes may have scandalized the nation back in March 2015 when she claimed that sweatpants were the number one cause of divorce, but she put a finger on something few women like to acknowledge:

Keeping the sex appeal alive in a long-term relationship takes effort.

And if it means swapping a skirt for sweatpants, why not?

Like this topic and want to learn more?

Discover what Your Brilliance expert author James Bauer has to say about what guys want you to wear.