Did you know that there are tons of websites out there selling programs that teach men how to make women want to sleep with them?
Here’s one example:
Maybe there’s a crush at work, or online, who you’ve had your eye on…
Maybe there’s a special girl who ghosted on you after a few dates…
Or maybe you’ve even got a girlfriend or wife who’s gone cold and stopped respecting you, or wanting to have sex…
..Well, it doesn’t matter.
She will get unbelievably hot for you, her mating instinct will go wild, and she’ll be driven to have sex with you when you use what you learn in the next few minutes.”
Imagine a single guy who’s never been able to get a girlfriend reading this.
Suddenly he understands that the reason is NOT because there’s something wrong with him—which has always been his greatest fear.
In fact, his ONLY problem is that he doesn’t know about this “mating switch.” He’s missing information. Once he learns this information, turning women on should be as easy pressing a button.
What do you think that single guy is going to do?
Of course he’s going to buy the program! It’s just money, and at stake is the rest of his life.
He’s been dreaming about having the power to sleep with any woman he wants since he was a teenager. No matter what the cost, it will be a small price to pay for becoming the man he’s always fantasized of being.
I want to add here that I know the guy who created this particular program, and he genuinely helps men. So this isn’t some sleazy rip-off, despite the way it hits our ears as women.
Here’s another example. This program—again, by a stand-up guy—promises to teach guys how to:
Make Any Woman Want To Do Anything For You – Waitresses, women at stores, flight attendants and especially the woman you’ve had your eye on for months.
Get The Woman Of Your Dreams To Crave You – Make it so even the hottest, sexiest woman you’ve ever met literally can’t wait to go out with you.”
How does it feel to you when you read those words?
Does it feel strange that I would say the programs are by good guys when the claims they’re making sound so irredeemably sleazy?
Would you want to be the woman a guy is using these skills on?
Probably not, right?
It feels manipulative. It feels seriously creepy.
You kind of feel sorry for the guy who’d buy these programs, who actually believes that there’s a way to trick women into wanting to sleep with him.
You or I wouldn’t be fooled, right? We’d know if a guy was trying to play some trick on us.
It feels wrong to think of a man trying to use psychological persuasion techniques to get us into bed with him. It feels like he’s trying to make us do something we wouldn’t otherwise do. He’s taking away our right to choose what’s in our own best self-interest.
Just sit with how that feels for a moment.
Turn the Tables
Now I’m going to read you some claims made about products for women to make men fall in love with them.
The first website offers some phrases you can text to “that one special man who never had any feelings for you. These phases are PROVEN to shoot intense chemicals of pure OBSESSION into his bloodstream, leaving him no other option but to HELPLESSLY CHASE you.”
Interesting, isn’t it?
It sounds almost like the same thing.
It’s a psychological trick to make men helpless to resist you.
Here’s another one about a text “that you can send a man right now that will unlock a hidden, ravenous desire for you. It is psychologically designed to make him obsess over you.”
Can you hear the similarities?
Make any man desire and crave you, even if he doesn’t have feelings for you.
How do you think a man would feel if he came across one of those websites?
Would he think, “Gosh, I want a woman to try these on me!”?
Well, maybe! But probably not.
What these products have in common is that they appeal to a primal desire within every single one of us…
A desire so basic that we don’t even realize it’s driving us…
A desire that destroys relationships like a deadly poison.
It’s the desire to control people.
Life Would Be So Much Easier If We Could Change People
If you were offered a superpower—the ability to make people think and feel the way you want them to think and feel—would you take it?
It would be pretty amazing, wouldn’t it?
Everybody who disagrees with you would suddenly agree with you.
Everybody would love you no matter how they felt before.
Everyone would do exactly what you want them to do.
The desire to change people is deeply, profoundly baked into us.
We never stop hoping we can make people different. Especially once we get into a relationship with someone. Because it’s impossible to live with someone and NOT want to change them!
And yet most of us aren’t very good at making people change.
We try asking, convincing, begging, and threatening, but quite often the other person digs in their heels and we end up in a stalemate. No one likes to be controlled.
Just as we have an instinctive desire to want people to act how we want them to, so we also have an instinctive aversion to being controlled.
We want to be able to control others, but we don’t want anyone trying to control us.
You can immediately see the problem.
The instant a man realizes you want him to do something—to ask you to be his girlfriend, to spend more time with you, to stop seeing other women—he refuses to do it on principle.
This dynamic is at the heart of so many relationship conflicts.
She wants him to be different, and he’s going to behave exactly as he pleases.
What If You’ve Tried Everything?
But what are your options, right?
If you want a man to fall in love with you and treat you like a queen…
But right now he’s only texting you late at night as a booty call and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship…
What are you supposed to do?
You have tried EVERYTHING.
You’ve tried being his ideal woman.
You’ve tried showing him that he’ll never meet anyone as good as you.
You’ve kept your own feelings under wraps, you’ve silenced your own needs, you’ve made it so easy for him. What more does he want?
You’re confused, heartbroken, at your wit’s end. You’re willing to try anything.
And if this website says that this text is going to make him crave you and desire you even if he has zero feelings, why not give it a try? What’s there to lose?
Surely It’s Okay to Want to Change Him
Dating advice would not exist if we gave up the dream of controlling one another.
At its essence, dating advice is a promise that you can change someone’s mind and heart, no matter how resistant they are.
It offers us power over the opposite sex, power that we can use to get what we want.
We can all see the appeal of that!!
Just as single men go to those sites because they want to know how it feels to be physically desired by women, so single women go to those sites because they want to know how it feels to loved and craved and desired.
If you’ve never been loved by a man in that all-consuming way, wouldn’t you want to know how that feels?
And if you could try something simple and easy like a text that would unlock that sort of craving in him, why wouldn’t you try it?
I am not going to sit here and pass judgment because—as it won’t have escaped you—I’ve made my career giving love advice!
If I could personally hand each and every one of you the key to love, I would. Love is your birthright. There is no one more lovable than you. I wish you knew it the way I know it.
There is another way, but it means abandoning the dream of controlling people.
It means giving up the idea that his heart and mind are yours to change.
It means trusting in the one thing you’ve never been able to trust:
That things will work out without your help.
Keep Your Focus on What You Can Control: You
Love is your destiny. It’s why you’re here.
Pleasure is your guide. It will point you towards what’s meant for you.
When you focus on your pleasure, rather than what men are thinking and feeling, you can see much more clearly what you want and what you don’t want.
You’re attuned to the sensations inside your body. You’re absorbing how it feels to be with him. You’re responding to the shifts in energy.
You don’t care what he thinks of you. He can think what he wants.
What you care about is how you FEEL right now. Are you enjoying this man? Are you enjoying this experience? How good does it feel? Do you want more of it?
It’s amazing what happens when you let go of the need to control how he feels about you, and just focus on your own pleasure.
You feel light. You feel free. You feel happy.
That’s the promise of the Pleasure Principle.
Let us know what you think!