Dating is in the process of a HUGE sea change.
For the past 100 years, dating ticked along nicely.
Everyone knew the game: men had to prove they had the resources to provide a good lifestyle, and women had to prove they’d be a good wife.
But that old dating game is going the way of the penny arcade.
There’s a new game in town, and its rules are different.
21st century dating is all about the “click.”
What’s That??
You know the click.
It’s when you’re having so much fun that time stands still. There’s nowhere you’d rather be than right here, right now.
When you’re caught up in the moment with someone, it doesn’t matter whether they look the way you expected. It doesn’t matter whether they share your values or would make a good spouse.
What matters is the EXPERIENCE you’re having with them.
They get you. They’re on your wavelength.
Being with them is a rare experience, one you can’t get with just anybody.
That’s the click, and it’s a deal-breaker.
Every day, men and women walk away from perfectly nice people who are attractive and interesting and successful… but just don’t click.
The question is:
How can you click with him?
Forget 21 Questions
On a classic date, you flirt with him while asking questions to find out whether he’d be a good match.
The internet is full of questions you can ask on a first date. (Some experts even claim that asking the right questions can make him fall in love.)
The problem is…
Research has shown that asking questions is a sign that a date isn’t going well.
On the best dates, couples swap stories.
He tells a story, then she jumps in with her own story, which reminds him of another story, and so on.
When you’re swapping stories, you are in control of how much you reveal.
He can share what he finds interesting, without having to give you his bio or prove that he’s financially sound.
He never feels put on the spot. He never feels interrogated.
So try replacing questions with stories. Tell him a story about your childhood, or your family, or your work. Then let him respond whichever way he likes.
Way Too Much Work!
The old way of dating was exhausting.
You had to be attractive and funny and compliment him and make him feel manly.
And if you made a mistake, like getting spinach in your teeth or saying the wrong thing, then you were CERTAIN to never hear from him again…
Because men only want “perfect” women.
Yikes!!
Thank goodness it’s the 21st century and we’re no longer auditioning for the role of “perfect girlfriend.”
Women no longer need to prove themselves to men. Men can cook for themselves and do their own laundry and feel manly ALL on their own.
What men want—and what women want, too—is the CLICK.
And the click is all about enjoyment.
If you’re not having fun, then you probably won’t hear from him again—no matter how accomplished and talented and amazing you are.
Practice Pleasure
But who has fun on a date??
Aren’t we all too nervous to enjoy ourselves?
That’s where practicing the Pleasure Principle comes in.
When you’re used to enjoying yourself with men, you find ways to have fun no matter what.
Even if you know you don’t want to see him again, you won’t waste your evening by having a miserable time. You look for ways you can enjoy the experience.
Remember: he’s not assessing your suitability for the position of his girlfriend.
He’s just a guy on a date with a girl, hoping she’ll like him and it will be fun.
Your enjoyment and pleasure give him permission to relax and let down his guard. He feels like he’s already a success, because you’re enjoying yourself.
The more fun you can have, the more fun he’ll have.
So throw out the old rules of dating. Stop working so hard!
Your job is to find out how much pleasure you can get from his company and EXPRESS IT.
Not sure how to do this without feeling silly? Then try my 4-week Pleasure Power training.
Let us know what you think!