So you’re frustrated with all the duds you’re meeting online.
You go to your inbox, excited to see all these new messages waiting for you, only to find pithy one-liners like, “Hey,” “Hope you’re having a great weekend,” or “You’re hot.”
The one or two guys you got really excited about—messaged back and forth like crazy, maybe even spoke on the phone, arranged to meet up—turned out to be kind of closed off and weird in person.
You were expecting to meet the witty, enthusiastic guy you’d been chatting with all week, but the guy sitting across from you can barely meet your eyes.
So what are you going to do?
Swear off online dating?
I’ve got a better plan.
It starts with acknowledging that we have all the power when it comes to who we attract.
When you put up an online profile, you’re basically creating an ad campaign. As all great marketers know, the worst ads try to sell to everyone. The best ads appeal specifically to their target audience—in this case, the kind of man you want to meet.
So if you created an online profile that you thought would appeal to MOST guys, that’s your first mistake. You don’t want “most guys” to like your profile. You want the RIGHT guys to like your profile … and the wrong ones to click away.
Some women take that advice and roll with it. They write up exactly what they want and post it in their profile, assuming that the right man will recognize himself in their description. That’s the wrong way to go about it.
Imagine an ad that told you, “Here’s who we think our ideal customer is … and it’s you!”
Kind of creepy, right?
So here’s the right way of going about it:
You want your ideal guy to recognize himself in YOU.
The way you describe yourself is what’s going to attract him.
Get comfortable including things in your profile that will turn off some guys. According to OkCupid, quirky profiles do better than generically attractive profiles. So don’t hide the things that make you different, even if they’re a bit embarrassing.
Ask yourself what your ideal guy values, and include those words in your profile. Core values matter more than favorite foods and bands.
If you want to know whether your profile is working, all you have to do is look in your inbox. Are you getting messages from interesting guys? If not, then don’t blame the site. Rewrite your profile.
Sometimes women make the mistake of saying, “There aren’t any good guys on this site, because all the guys who’ve contacted me are jerks.” Or they say, “I guess no one is attracted to me, because my profile isn’t getting any hits.”
Imagine a business with an ad campaign that flopped. Are they going to say, “I guess no one wants to buy our product. I guess our product sucks”? No!
Successful businesses say, “How can we make a better ad campaign? How can we get our ideal customer to notice our product?”
You will probably have to go through a number of different versions of your profile before you find one that works.
So if you’re not getting the results you want online, don’t blame anyone. Tweak your profile instead. Make sure it appeals to guys who like the same things you like. Mr. Right may be just a click away!