Does the thought of flirting stress you out?
Are you sure you’re going to say something stupid and turn him off?
Do you feel like you’re too old to flirt?
Then love and success coach Luba Evans has a message for you.
In this episode of YBTV, you’ll find out what’s been blocking you from flirting, how to find out whether he’s open to flirting back, and whether you need to adapt your flirting style as you grow older.
What You’ll Learn
“Flirting is not really an activity. It is a state of mind,” Luba explains.
For Luba, flirting is simply light communication with another person. It’s done for the fun of it, not to achieve a goal.
Although we often think the goal of flirting is to make someone like us, that’s not the case at all.
“Flirting is about your charisma coming out. It’s about your light. It’s about you shining your light,” she explains.
She doesn’t believe you should plan out flirtatious things to say in advance, because spontaneity brings flirting alive. She adds, “There are certain things that are very hard to force and, in fact, those are the most magical things.”
In a world where so much of our communication is mediated by technology, “people are gasping for alive, smart, playful, natural communication with each other.”
That’s why flirting will always be appropriate. It makes everyone feel good. As long as there’s no agenda, you can flirt with anyone.
But flirting takes confidence, and that can sometimes be lacking. We’re afraid of making a mistake and saying something foolish. But perfection kills playfulness. Luba urges us to not “be afraid to get dirty. Don’t be afraid to be imperfect.”
She wants us to know that whatever happens…
Whether he flirts back or not…
Whether he ends up liking us or not…
We shouldn’t blame ourselves for taking the risk of flirting.
“That is our heroine’s journey,” she says. “To come back to the complete faith that no matter what’s happened, everything was a lesson.”
Jump to Topics of Interest
01:57 Different types of flirting
02:35 Flirting is not results-oriented
03:37 Flirting exercise: Coming back to the innocence and playfulness of childhood
05:12 How we stop taking flirting so seriously?
06:38 Is flirting even necessary?
08:55 Indicators that he is receptive to being flirted with
10:46 Flirting and charisma
11:25 How to make flirting happen on the spot
15:27 How do you get the confidence to flirt boldly?
19:55 Does our flirting style need to change as we get older?
20:47 Importance of sisterhood
23:14 Choose who you’re going to trust to give you feedback