Examples of Boundaries

Every single one of us needs boundaries.

These are the limits to how people can treat us.

If someone crosses one of our boundaries, we warn them. If they persist, we take action. We may limit their access to us, avoid being in unsafe situations with them, or end the relationship completely.

Nowhere do we need boundaries more than in romantic relationships.

But many of us have never sat down and thought about our boundaries. What are our limits? What would cause us to say, “Enough is enough. I’m out of here”?

Here are some examples to get you started.

1. Safety and Abuse

• Physical violence or threats of violence
• Sexual coercion or disrespecting consent
• Intimidation, controlling behavior, or manipulation
• Driving recklessly or putting you or others in danger

2. Emotional and Mental Respect

• Name-calling, belittling, or constant criticism
• Gaslighting—making you doubt your reality or feelings
• Humiliation, either privately or in public
• Persistent refusal to acknowledge or address toxic behavior

3. Trust and Honesty

• Repeated lying or hiding important information
• Cheating or repeated infidelity
• Financial dishonesty or secrecy
• Violating your agreed-upon boundaries around privacy or social interactions

4. Effort and Reciprocity

• Refusal to share responsibility for household, emotional, or parenting work
• Lack of effort in maintaining the relationship or growth
• Consistently putting his needs above yours in a way that feels exploitative

5. Values and Life Direction

• Persistent disregard for your core values or beliefs
• Major incompatibility on key life decisions (kids, finances, career priorities) that can’t be negotiated
• Refusing to respect your autonomy or goals

6. Addiction or Self-Destructive Behavior

• Uncontrolled substance abuse that endangers you or the relationship
• Refusal to seek help or change destructive habits that affect your life

Learn more about boundaries.