Don’t Work on Being More Attractive – Do THIS

In the 20th Century:
Be more attractive to men.

In the 21st Century:
Practice the hard skills of loving.

It seemed so obvious at the time:

“Make yourself more attractive, and you’ll meet a great guy and live happily ever after.”

I bought it. I even taught it.

In the early days of my career, I was supposed to tell women how to be irresistible to men.

As if being desired by men was the hard part.

No one would have bought a book on how to be loved by men.

My audience didn’t want to know about love. They wanted to know about attraction, chemistry, irresistibility, obsession.

They wanted to know about those things because they believed a lie.

They’d been told that being attractive would get them lasting love…

Never realizing that the attraction skills they were learning were completely irrelevant (if not harmful) to healthy lasting love.

Folks who are awesome at dating often have no clue how to make it work once the rose-colored glasses come off.

They’ve spent all their energy making great first impressions. They haven’t put much practice time into slugging through the swamp of relationship reality.

Good looks can even backfire on you. A study found that highly attractive people are less satisfied in their relationships and more likely to divorce.

So, if you want to live happily ever after with one man, don’t try to be what men want.

Focus on relationship skills. Practice resolving conflicts with your friends. Have hard conversations with your parents. Use self-help tools to become more awareness of your problems and patterns.

The better you get at seeing the underlying dynamics in relationships…

The better you get at communicating the REALLY hard stuff…

The more you increase your chances of meeting a partner who’s also wise in the ways of relationships.

P.S. I didn’t grow up knowing ANY of this. I thought I’d learned enough from Glamour and Cosmo! But taking jobs all over the world taught me that I needed to upgrade my relationship skills FAST. I share my most important and impactful lessons in this little book.