When You Do Everything Right & Still Can’t Find Good Love

Here’s something I didn’t understand back in my twenties:

You attract who you are.

Not what you WANT, but who you ARE.

That’s a quote from Mat Shaffer’s interview with me, and it really got me thinking…

Got Game?

When I began my career in dating advice, all the hot new advances were coming from men.

Women were being given the same old “get-a-husband” advice, while men were out there trying different techniques to see what actually worked in practice.

Men discovered that there were two ways to work on getting better with the opposite sex:

1. Outer game
2. Inner game

Outer game was all the superficial stuff: how to look good, how to present yourself, how to hold a conversation, how to flirt.

But some men who mastered those skills STILL weren’t having any luck.

It’s like the beautiful woman who can twirl men around her little finger but can never find herself a healthy relationship with a guy who treats her well.

That’s because what’s missing is INNER GAME.

Inner game is who you are inside. It’s your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. It’s the way you’ve been shaped by past experiences. It’s how you handle difficult emotions and situations.

When your inner game is a mess, it doesn’t matter how good your outer game is. Solid, secure love will feel elusive.

Attract Love from the Inside

I wish women’s dating advice had picked up on that distinction and run with it.

Too much women’s dating advice still focuses on the outer: what to text him, how to look good, how to project feminine energy.

But none of that matters if you haven’t done healing work on how you feel inside.

I promote Mat Shaffer’s course every single time he runs it because I believe that’s what’s missing for most of us: inner game.

We think the problem is how we look or our lack of flirting skills, but the problem is actually the story we’re telling ourselves about who we are and what we deserve.

You could look your very worst and STILL deserve love, because love is a heart connection. It’s the way a man responds to who you are.

Sadly, too many of us hide or change who we are because we don’t believe we’re good enough.

If you’re brave enough to look inside and start to see the obstacles you’ve created for yourself that are blocking you from love…

Then I really encourage you to sign up for Mat’s 3-week live event starting October 28th. It’s free. It’s an emotional journey. And it’s the best use of your time I can imagine.