Should I make the first move on a guy?
The short answer is YES!
Ninety-five percent of single men want women to ask for their number. They also wish women would take the initiative when it comes to that first kiss.[1]
Most men today (91%) feel comfortable with being asked out by a woman. Nearly two-thirds have been asked out by a woman before.
That’s what one of the biggest annual surveys on dating attitudes in America, conducted by the researchers at Match.com, concluded.
Still other research finds that nearly three-quarters of single men would say yes to an attractive woman’s offer of moving things to the bedroom. Even men in relationships wish their partners would initiate sex more often.[2]
But if you think asking a man out is easy, think again.
Making the first move doesn’t guarantee he’ll say yes.
If you make the first move on an online dating site, for example, you can expect to get back a reply to your message only 15 to 20% of the time.
We women have been protected from the sting of rejection by social norms that release us from the burden of asking someone out.
That’s why we have a lot to learn from men. Men don’t assume the woman they approach will say yes. They know it takes skill to approach someone in a way that sparks connection. How they ask her out influences her answer.
It’s time for us to learn those skills.
Here’s an easy way to ask a man out. What does he know about that you’d like to learn? Ask him if he’d mind meeting you over coffee one day to share what he knows. Then spend that coffee date learning from him. Don’t try to flirt unless he flirts with you.
At the end, thank him and tell him how much you enjoyed spending time with him. Say, “We should do it again!” And leave it at that.
You’ve put the ball in his court. If he’s interested, he’ll figure out a way to see you again. If not, no harm done.
Want to know how to make the first move with a cute guy you’ve seen at a restaurant or festival or club? Dating coach Marni Kinrys offers this strategy:
[1] https://www.cbsnews.com/news/survey-of-singles-in-america-match-com-helen-fisher/
[2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201307/sex-desire-doing
Let us know what you think!