Should I get back together with my ex?
The short answer is:
It depends on why you split up.
If you split up because you weren’t getting along, then maybe not.
If you split up because external forces pulled you apart, then you might have a second chance.
Getting back together with an ex is common. Nearly half of young people have got back together with an ex.[1] Anywhere from 10 to 20% of married couples have split up and reunited.
About half of those who break up are torn. They’re not sure they made the right decision.[2] No wonder half of us would give our ex a second chance if they showed up at our door.[3]
The most interesting research done on exes reuniting comes from psychologist Nancy Kalish, who studies lost loves.[4]
She found that youthful relationships have the most likelihood of being rekindled, because memories formed during high school and college are particularly powerful.
If a young couple ended things because their parents disapproved or one of them moved away or other factors intervened to end the relationship, then there’s a good chance they’ll experience chemistry if they reunite years later.
In fact, if you’re married, Kalish warns against reuniting with a lost love. It may feel like a simple matter of meeting an old friend, but the potential for an affair is high. Those powerful currents of memory can sweep you away.
If you’re thinking of reuniting with an ex, make sure that the factors that ended the relationship the first time around are no longer an issue. If you can’t talk about why it ended the first time and how things will be different now, then you’re probably not ready to try again.
[1] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/01/130122122440.htm
[2] https://journals.sagepub.com/stoken/default+domain/rSnPjUjJKhefxXSuwIJt/full
[3] https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/break-up-or-make-up
[4] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sticky-bonds
Let us know what you think!