Let Go of Past Pain

What’s the most awful, horrific thing that’s happened to you in relationships?

For me, it was experiencing the sheer hatred of a man who, once he no longer had me, desired to destroy me.

It’s happened to me more than once over my life. It always catches me off guard.

I’m just not that sort of person. When I go through a breakup, I mourn the love. Love leaves an impression that lingers. It’s impossible to hate someone you once shared so intimately with.

I feel very lucky that I can take those horrific past experiences and write about them.

Writing transforms them from painful personal memories to accessible public stories people can relate to.

But many folks don’t have anyone to tell their stories to.

Or they don’t have the words.

Why would you let someone know about the most painful, private experience of your life? It would be like reliving it all over again. Surely it’s better to bury the memory and never speak of it again.

But those old experiences don’t heal properly when they’re hidden away.

You can end up with a hard, lumpy scar.

And sometimes that scar interferes with your future relationships. You end up more reactive, more hypervigilant, less trusting.

How do you think it would feel to share those painful memories now?

Would it be easier? Or does the thought terrify you?

If you’ve got a therapist or a trusted friend, consider opening up to them. Something happens when you put words to the unspeakable. It takes its power away.

Another safe place to open up is in Mat Shaffer’s Mastery of Connection course.

The course takes place in a private Facebook group where women around the world share their hopes, fears, and personal journeys.

Mat has staff standing by to support participants, but the real beauty is watching other women jump in and support each other.

You learn that it’s okay to have had bad things happen to you. It doesn’t make you bad. It makes you worthy of extra love and support and kindness.

I can’t tell you how much I hope you seize this opportunity.

Group events like this one change people.

Something about the energy of so many women coming together with one dream: to have better relationships with men and with everyone they love.

It starts Monday the 28th of October. I hope you’ll be there.

Here’s your link to join other women in inviting in bigger, better, healthier love.