The Secret to Keep Him from Straying is NOT…

In the 20th Century:
To keep him, you’ve got to be his fantasy in bed.

In the 21st Century:
To keep him, you’ve got to stay emotionally connected.

As a teen, everything I knew about married life came from Ladies Home Journal.

I had a friend who’d come over to my house and dig through the stacks of magazines, looking for racy advice so he could make fun of it.

From those articles, it seemed obvious that a core part of married life was “satisfying your man.” You didn’t want to leave him unsatisfied, because an unsatisfied man went looking elsewhere to fulfil his needs.

The equation for a man’s happiness looked pretty easy:

Cook for him + Stay attractive + Serve his every need = Happy husband!

You know what wasn’t in that equation?

Emotions.

Emotions were a female thing.

Everyone knew that sex was the language of love for men. Emotions were the language of love for women.

Fast forward to the 21st century, and we live in a world where sex isn’t all that hard to get.

What’s really hard to get is emotional connection.

To be seen. To be heard. To be known. To be accepted. To be appreciated.

That’s the holy grail of romance.

Now, an emotional connection isn’t the same thing as emotional support. Men have always expected women to provide that.

In fact, single women have been getting fed up recently with guys treating dates like therapy sessions.

A popular article on Medium called men out:

“Dear Men, Women Are Not Your Personal Therapists.”

It’s great that men are becoming more conscious of their emotional needs. It’s great that they’re becoming comfortable with asking for support.

But an emotional connection is a two-way street.

Having a strong emotional connection helps you feel safe enough to ask for your needs to be met AND motivates your partner to meet them.

What some men have gotten wrong is expecting emotional support without building an emotional connection first.

An emotional connection is the lifeblood of a relationship.

You feed it through:

• Taking time to really listen
• Responding to each other’s bids for connection
• Eye gazing
• Affectionate touch
• Sharing something vulnerable
• Expressing appreciation

A man with a strong emotional connection to you will do his best to communicate about problems, rather than going elsewhere to get his needs met.