Washed up and dried out … or just beginning?
Finding love in your 40s and beyond isn’t like what it was the first time around.
You’re not as innocent and naive. You have different expectations. The dating pool is smaller.
But Macy Matarazzo doesn’t want you to despair. She became a first-time bride at the age of 43, and now she coaches women looking for love in midlife.
Join us as we chat with Macy about the blocks that keep us from finding love, why we shouldn’t just wait and hope for the best, where all the good single men are lurking, the possibility of “unicorn love,” and whether lying about our age will work.
Get your own “unicorn love” at The Love Advantage
What You’ll Learn
The relationships we attract are really just a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.”
For Macy, finding love starts with self-awareness.
By this stage in your life, you’ve gained a wealth of relationship experience that has taught you what you do want and what you don’t want. You know who you are and what you value. That’s going to help you hone in on the right man for you.
But you might also find that you keep ending up in the same sort of relationships. Do you keep attracting men who won’t commit? Then look into yourself and see where you may not be committing. Do you keep attracting men who are unavailable? Then look into yourself and find where you may not be available.
As you make those internal shifts, you start to attract a different kind of partner. As Macy explains, when “we cultivate that really loving relationship with ourselves, then we do tend to see a new external world.”
Sometimes, it helps to have a guide as you do that kind of work. Love coaching can help.
Rather than thinking that we’re broken or there’s something wrong with us or, ‘Oh my god, I’m this age [so] there must be really, really something wrong with me,’ … we can really just hunker down and get really specific support to heal whatever is there.”
Once you do that inner work, then it’s time to take specific steps to attract the kind of man you’re looking for. Make your search for love a priority, and get clear on what you want.
Even later in life I meet women all the time who are saying, ‘Hey, I just want to meet a good guy,’ and I’m like, ‘No, you don’t! You want more than that. You have values, you have needs, you have a specific lifestyle, you live in a certain place… You don’t want ‘just a good guy.’ You want more than that.“
Macy’s vision of the perfect relationship is what she calls “unicorn love.”
It’s “that kind of relationship that you’ve never thought actually could exist … where you’re totally understood, and you trust that person, and you’re attracted to that person, and your lifestyles match, and you are … walking side-by-side on this path we call Life.”
If you want that kind of love, you have to do the work.
You’ve got to start putting yourself out there “in a way that’s genuine and comfortable for you.” Online dating can be part of your tool kit, but there are many other opportunities, including volunteering, getting out in your community, going to meet-ups, and so forth. Macy encourages us to “start doing more things that get you out in the world where your kind of guy might be.”
Should you lie about your age? “I don’t know many women who are wanting to call in someone who isn’t honest, so why would we start any relationship from a place that’s not honest?” Macy says.
What we shouldn’t do is give up or give into negativity.
If you’re feeling that longing for a relationship in your heart, listen to that. You deserve it. It’s why we’re here on earth.”
Jump to Topics of Interest
02:17 The advantages of dating in your 40s
02:59 Importance of self-awareness
03:59 Where to start looking within yourself for those blocks to attracting love
05:51 Why haven’t you found someone yet?
08:34 The steps you need to take
09:38 Finding “unicorn love”
11:46 When you want to find someone to have children with
12:29 The best places to find men at this age
15:35 Should you admit your real age?
16:28 The Love Advantage: how Macy can help you
18:17 Why you should do something about it now
About Macy Matarazzo
Macy is the founder of The Love Advantage, Love Vibe TV, and author of the upcoming book Crafty Love: The Playful Path to Soulmate Love. She brings her clients a magical combination of transformational change methodology, intuitive guidance, Kundalini yoga and creative exploration. She has been using these tools for over 25 years and has discovered a powerful yet fun way for women to attract extraordinary love into their lives. Find out how you can work with Macy.