What are the best questions to ask on a first date?
The short answer is as few as possible.
Surprised? Common wisdom says that you should ask a lot of questions on a first date to get to know the other person.
But, in fact, research shows that the more questions you ask, the less likely you are to click.
On a great first date, conversation flows naturally. That was the conclusion of a study published in the May 2013 issue of the American Journal of Sociology. Couples connect by sharing stories, not asking questions.
Too many questions are a sign the date isn’t going well. The researchers explained:
We found that questions were used by women to keep a lagging conversation going, and they were used by men who had nothing to say.”[1]
So if there’s a lull in the conversation, don’t fill it by asking him about himself. Tell him a story about yourself.
But maybe what you want aren’t questions to fill up the time on a date. Maybe what you want are questions that tell you whether this guy has long-term potential.
Christian Rudder, co-founder of OkCupid, found that a whopping three-quarters of the couples who go on to have a relationship after meeting on OkCupid agree on the answers to these 2 questions:
- Do you like horror movies?
- Have you ever traveled around another country alone?[2]
So go ahead, ask him questions. Just do it BEFORE arranging that first date.
[1] https://nlp.stanford.edu/pubs/mcfarlandjurafskyrawlings.pdf
[2] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/sep/28/seven-secrets-of-dating-from-the-experts-at-okcupid
Let us know what you think!