Self-Love is Setting Boundaries with Kasey Woods

Fed up with people taking advantage of you?

You’re a nice person. You’re careful with people’s feelings.

You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone by saying something aggressive or confrontational.

But there comes a point where enough is enough.

In this week’s YBTV interview, motivational speaker Kasey Woods explains the importance of boundaries.

You’ve got to educate people on how to treat you. If they won’t respect you, then you’ve got to respect yourself.

You’ll learn why boundaries require self-love, why they’re necessary even with people who love you, and why it’s time to stop tolerating any talk that disrespects women. Get ready to get inspired!

What You’ll Learn

Boundaries, in my opinion, are the definition of self-love.”

Kasey Woods was sick and tired.

Sick and tired of people not treating her well and adding value to her life.

“After a while,” she says, “you’re just going to say, ‘You know what? I’ve had enough. Stop!'”

But it took her a while to get there.

She’d always been taught to be humble and treat people the way she wanted to be treated. No one explained to her about boundaries growing up. She found herself being taken advantage of over and over again.

Finally, she went to her father and asked, “Dad, what’s going on? Why am I keep going through what I’m going through?”

He told her straight: “You have to look yourself in the mirror and say, ‘I don’t love myself.'”

That’s when she came to understand the relationship between boundaries and self-love.

Love and Faith

When you love yourself, you know you deserve better.

Being that you are created from the Maker above, you are special. You are a gem. You cannot let anyone—not anyone—talk to you or treat you any kind of way.”

Kasey wears a black cap that says, “FAITH OVER FEAR.”

“You have to develop faith,” she says. “You have to know that you were not created to be defeated.”

You’ve got to walk out of your house every day with your shield and armor.

Her grandmother used to call it the “nice-nasty.” You treat people how you’d want to be treated, but you know when to speak up and stand in your power.

Boundaries in Relationships

You don’t just need boundaries with people who take advantage of you.

You also need boundaries in your personal relationships with family and with romantic partners.

People will want you to be someone you’re not. They’ll tell you how to live your life. Their intentions may be loving, but you have to be firm.

Kasey has learned that from experience:

I had to ignore the naysayers, I had to ignore the negativity from me being who I am, and I just had to say, ‘You know what? It’s my life. I have to live it. Whoever doesn’t like it, there’s the door.'”

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to tolerate bad behavior from them.

“You just have to know that you are a queen, you are a king. You deserve to be loved. You deserve for someone to love you for who you are,” she says.

“When they don’t treat you the way that you are supposed to be treated, that’s when you step in and say, ‘Hey, you’re going to learn my work, you’re going to know it, you’re going to respect it. And if you don’t, there’s the door.”

She laughs. “That’s my answer for everything. There’s the door.”

Women Are Winning

“If you look at TV right now, and you look at CNN, look at movies, the women are winning,” Kasey says.

“That’s because the women are waking up and creating boundaries. We’re not taking it no more. We are just as powerful as a man.”

Kasey has worked in a lot of male-dominated workplaces. She’s been treated as one of the guys. She’s sat there and listened to the way men talk about women. It’s not respectful, and it needs to stop.

Whether you wear a dress, or whether you wear a suit, or whether you wear a bikini … you are powerful. You are a woman. Be proud of who you are and stand up for yourself. When you get in a group of men and they start telling you what a woman can’t do, you show them what a woman can do.”

SheZone: A Safe Space for Women

Kasey is on fire for helping women.

“My mission is to take what I’ve been through and possibly help someone else,” she says.

As a motivational speaker, her goal is to inspire her audiences and show them that trouble doesn’t last.

That’s a message that’s particularly needed now, in the wake of the turmoil and confusion of the pandemic.

Another way in which Kasey helps women is through SheZone and ShePride.

She created SheZone 10 years ago as “a safe haven for women who love women and are curious.”

She hosts regular ShePride events in Richmond, Virginia as a talent showcase for women in the community.

It’s a safe space where women both gay and straight “can come, be themselves, kick off their shoes, meet new people, have fun, listen to some music, and just enjoy ourselves.”

To learn more about Kasey’s motivational speaking, connect with her on LinkedIn.

You can also follow her on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.

Jump to Topics of Interest

1:46 Boundaries and why they matter
2:27 How we learned about boundaries
3:15 What establishing boundaries looks like
4:06 The gender divide
4:55 Self-love
5:50 Being kind doesn’t mean letting people take advantage of you
6:59 Nice-nasty
8:45 Living your own life
10:00 Healthy boundaries in relationships
11:16 SheZone and ShePride
13:10 Male-dominated spaces
14:30 Women are winning
15:28 Kasey’s motivational speaking
16:35 Trouble doesn’t last