Wouldn’t you love to be in a relationship where he puts YOU first?
Where YOUR happiness is at the heart of everything he does?
Well, now you can. What you want has a name:
Loving female-led relationships.
We talked to the leading expert in loving female-led relationships, Te-Erika Patterson, to find out what it takes to create a relationship where the woman is the leader.
Te-Erika is an author, matchmaker, and relationship coach who helps powerful women find love with men who adore supporting them.
Her unique vision for relationships will surprise you, inspire you, and leave you longing for a world in which loving female-led relationships are the norm.
Loving Female-Led Relationships
What You’ll Learn
Every woman should want to be in a female-led relationship, and all you have to do … is to establish what you want, know it for yourself, express it to your partner, and then accept nothing less.”
Imagine a relationship in which your happiness, your dreams, and your satisfaction are the primary focus.
A relationship where your man supports you, rather than the other way around.
Where you ask for what you want, and he’s happy to give it to you.
Where you get to be queen, and he’s your humble knight.
That’s what a loving female-led relationship (FLR) looks like…
And if Te-Erika has her way, it’s going to be the relationship of the future.
“You’ve heard the term, ‘Happy wife, happy life’?” she asks. “That’s pretty much … the same thing. Except, in this relationship type, it’s verbally expressed and agreed upon openly.”
Loving female-led relationships are on the rise.
Not because more and more women are earning more than men and gaining advanced degrees…
But because women are learning that relationships don’t have to look the way they’ve always looked.
“Women are … being exposed to the concept that they can be a leader in their relationship—and they should be a leader in their relationship,” Te-Erika says.
“And it’s not just about calling the shots. It’s about a woman expressing what she wants from a relationship openly … whereas most women felt like they just had to accept what a man offers them or what a man wanted to give them. They didn’t know they could express what they wanted, and that what they wanted is important.”
Even today, much dating and relationship advice teaches women to focus on what men want and need. Fulfill his every need, please him in a way no other woman can, and he’ll want to be with you for life.
But is this model really serving us?
Te-Erika finds there’s a large number of men who don’t actually want partners like that.
“They are craving a relationship with a strong woman, because they feel turned off by women who are constantly trying to cater to them.”
These men come to Te-Erika wanting a partner who’s up front and straightforward about what makes her happy.
“The main problem that this relationship solves—and I hear this all the time from men—is, ‘How can I please a woman if I don’t know what she wants?’”
These men are no pushovers. They’re not weak or passive. Rather, they’re often powerful men with high incomes who simply enjoy pleasing women.
“The type of man that will be willing to be in this type of relationship is a man who adores women. He’s probably had a strong woman in his life at some point, and he found that absolutely irresistible. He feels that his life is not complete until he is making the woman he’s with happy and smiling every single day … and that’s what makes him feel like a real man.”
Imagine:
A man who gets into a relationship with you because he wants to make YOU happy…
Not because he expects you to make HIM happy!
Until recently, the most women could hope for is a relationship between equals. But sharing power equally with your partner is easier said than done. It’s hard to agree on everything. You end up settling and compromising more than you’d like. It’s often easier to just let one person make a decision rather than having to hash everything out.
Loving female-led relationships, on the other hand, “allow the best from the man and the woman. The woman gets to be her best self. She gets to set the standard for her happiness, and the man gets to be a real man by enabling that happiness. So both of them are actually living their highest potential.”
“I think it’s better than equality,” Te-Erika adds. “It’s both people playing the roles they really want to play, empowering each other.”
She’s careful to note that this isn’t an unbalanced relationship, where the woman has all the power and the man submits to her will. Nor is the woman superior to the man. Rather, this is a loving relationship, where both parties are clear about what makes them happy.
“I teach that you need to sit together and decide who has the strengths and who has the weaknesses, and make those decisions based on [that],” Te-Erika explains. “But the primary vision for the relationship should be set by the woman.”
In her coaching practice, Te-Erika teaches women “how to be assertive … how to create a vision for their lives that includes a man, and to only accept a man that’s going to allow them to live out their vision fully.”
She also takes men through a 4-week coaching program, where she teaches them “the art of how to empower a woman, how to handle conflict in a relationship, how to do it as a gentleman.”
Men who complete the program and qualify are eligible to be part of her matchmaking service. She estimates that 95% of her clients are men. Which means that unsatisfied women aren’t the ones driving this. It’s men that want relationships to change.
For men, the vision is compelling. “A loving female-led relationship is you standing behind the woman that you love and you wanting to empower her, which is what every man should want for their relationship,” Te-Erika says.
To help men and women make this transition, she offers coaching, matchmaking and information via her website, lovingflr.com.
She’s also written several books on the topic, including How to Love a Powerful Woman (for men) and She Wants: A Loving Female-Led Relationship (for women).
She Wants “will outline for you the mentality you need to create this in your life. If your relationship is a disaster right now and you’re thinking about leaving it because you want something better, this will tell you how to turn everything around.”
Te-Erika adds;
“She Wants: A Loving Female-Led Relationship is the book that I wish I had as a young adult, because if I did all of my relationship would have turned out differently, and I would have been more loving towards myself.”
Are you ready to start leading in your relationship?
For practical guidance on creating a loving female-led relationship, Te-Erika recently released a couples workbook that will guide you through establishing boundaries, identifying strengths and weaknesses, leadership styles, structuring household responsibilities, conflict resolution, and more.
Jump to Topics of Interest
3:00 How common are loving female-led relationships?
3:47 The shift women are making that’s enabling them to consider the possibility of having a loving female-led relationship
5:16 Why FLRs are BETTER than equality
6:47 What kind of woman is in a loving FLR?
7:40 What kind of man is in a loving FLR?
8:26 Where do you find a man willing to be in this kind of relationship?
9:40 Te-Erika’s matchmaking service and coaching for men
11:04 How are loving FLRs seen by society?
13:09 Why these aren’t just female-led relationships but loving female-led relationships
14:27 How can a woman can ask her boyfriend to try a loving FLR?
16:26 Where can a woman start in finding out more information?
About Te-Erika Patterson
Te-Erika is a relationship coach and author who helps powerful women find love with men who adore supporting them. Her books include How to Love a Powerful Woman, How to Train Your Man, Get Over Him, and She Wants: A Loving Female Led Relationship. Discover Te-Erika’s resources on loving female-led relationships.
TeErika’s approach and concepts are excellent. This FLR type relationship is a win win for both the man and the woman. I personally have enjoyed and continue to crave pleasing my wife after 27+ years of marriage. I encourage more women and men to embrace these concepts in their daily lives.
The whole thing is highly abusive and destructive. Not the concept of women being more dominant, but the rhetoric, philosophy and literature, being pumped out.
The author, self admittedly is not in a relationship and can’t find one(taking advise from a failure will lead to failure), and lacks the capacity of empathy towards men. The whole thing is as toxic as the most severe patriarchal system. The worst part is, it is called “loving”, but the only one doing the loving is the man. Both parties should love, respect and cherish one another.
It just seems like a Cluster B trying to normalize Cluster B behavior, for the benefit of Cluster B women. It reinforces the notion that human beings are human beings, and regardless of gender can be just as abusive. Cluster B men would love to get away with the level of abuse in a relationship, as this author routinely tries to justify.
This is flawed. A man should want to pamper a woman, not be coerced or ordered!
I don’t believe woman want this; otherwise, your membership wouldn’t be mostly all male.
There are some nice ideas here, but it needs less male fantasy.
I disagree, and I am reading this blog for the first time, and am not even in an FLR.. i am a typical male pig my wife would probably love this blog because I am not always nice or caring or respectful to her.
But even i realized from this blog post that what you said ” A man should want to pamper a woman, not be coerced or ordered! ” is exactly what the writer of this blog post just freaking wrote.
The fact that you are so defensive and immediately disagree proves even to me, another male who is struggling to make his wife happy, that I HAVE NOT BEEN SEEING THE FOREST THROUGH THE TREES LOL.
Obviously you don’t either. Some men just are ready to evolve and some aren’t. Thank god I found this blog because I can already tell a change in my wife since I started trying everything I can to please her.
The best part is that I only am doing it to make her happy, and when I see that instant result, it’s like a drug I am now addicted to, and reminds me when we first met and were dating, except 10 times better.
Just casually thinking about longest lasting relationships (30+ years) that I know. Within an hour my mom and I came up with 100+ marriages. Each unique relationship was female led. Think about the best marriage you know. The woman always calls the shots. The husband is happy. The wife is happy. Manager wife happy life!
i have met a Woman who wishes to control me in an FLR relationship Level 4. W/we met briefly in person so i know She is a real person. i live in Chicago, and She lives in North Carolina. W/we plan to get together for longer periods like for a week or two but neither of U/us want to relocate. What would an online FLR relationship look like when W/we are not together?? How can She show Her control without it being in person?
Hi, Gene! It might help to visit Te-Erika’s website. You can find her article database here: http://lovingflr.com/byline/te-erika-patterson/
However, you may not find the information you’re looking for, because this is about Loving FLR relationships. They’re distinct from FLR relationships in many ways. Again, Te-Erika’s website can help clarify.
So… most of you detractors simply do not understand. A loving FLR or any other FLR is all male-led (unless the make really is a human-trafficked sex slave) relationship in that the male is really giving up his authority (all of it — including his sex) entirely for her. That means that she makes the decisions; when she wants to make the decisions. It also means the male does what he KNOWS makes her happy. If she hates the laundry, you do the laundry. If she doesn’t like to cook (because, in reality, she doesn’t like to do it), then LEARN TO COOK! If she wants fresh roses weekly, then get fresh roses for her weekly, If she wants to advance her career, then make that happen by relieving her of other responsibilities. If she wants to stay home so that she can stay home, relax, and have brunch with her girl friends, then get up early and go to work! In my relationship, my wife of 30+ years rules. She gets my service whenever and wherever she wants it. Thats been true since we met! That’s been in as exotic places as watching the sun set over Nashville and the moon over St. Lucia.