Have you ever lost faith in love?
Have you ever had your heart broken…
Met someone who turned out not to be the man you thought he was…
Looked in the mirror and wondered why he’d ever choose you?
It’s such a painful thing to wonder:
How do you know that a great love will happen for you?
Maybe you’ll end up never finding anyone. Maybe love isn’t for women like you…
If those thoughts have EVER crossed your mind, then this interview is for you.
I’m talking with Mat Shaffer about finding faith in love again. What does it take to believe you’ll find happy, healthy love with a man who treats you right?
If you’ve been part of my community for a while, you know how much I adore Mat. He’s an intuitive dating coach who helps women create beautiful, soulful relationships with men who adore them. He’s incredibly generous with his time and gifts.
He doesn’t just want you to find love.
He wants to help you to heal your heart from the inside out, so that you attract amazing relationships and connections on every level of your life.
A QUICK NOTE: For folks who want to hop onto the October Mastery of Connection live event, I’ve got sad news. 🙁 It’s been postponed until January. If you’ve signed up already, Mat has got your details and will be letting you know just as soon as we have the dates for the January event!
Mat’s Own Journey
In our interview, Mat shares his journey of working with over 60,000 women and reveals powerful insights about love, self-worth, and how our beliefs shape our relationships.
He describes the past five years of his coaching work as a deeply rewarding experience.
“I’ve witnessed so many women heal their wounds, leave abusive relationships, step into healthy ones, get married, and even start families,” he says.
His passion is supporting women to have better relationships—not just with men, but with everyone in their lives.
This is about so much more than teaching dating tips. It’s about helping us reframe our experiences, heal our emotional wounds, and grow.
Mat loves to witness the deep personal transformation his clients go through as they release the pain of the past and embrace new confidence in their future.
Healing Through Connection
Every relationship you have with someone else is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. As you transform one, it impacts the other.”
The stories women bring to Mat’s Mastery of Connection course are incredibly emotional. They’ve suffered abuse, betrayal, and heartbreak of the worst kind. Telling their stories is an important part of the healing process, Mat explains.
“I get to be a safe masculine container for women to begin to recontextualize their relationship with masculine energy,” he says.
Having a safe place to talk about their most painful experiences helps women release the shame that has held them back.
When we feel bad about ourselves because bad things happened to us, that shame can make us shrink. We silence ourselves and avoid the risk of connection.
“A lot of the deepest suffering happens from the fact that we believe that no one else has gone through what we’ve gone through, nobody else could possibly understand what it is that we’ve experienced in our relationship,” Mat points out.
But when we share those experiences, we realize we’re not alone. Other women have gone through something similar. They’ve gone on to reclaim their worthiness, and we can, too.
Find Faith in Yourself
A lot of times, the people that we attract into our life are mirrors for where we are at in our own journey within ourselves.”
Many of us feel too broken, too old, or too unworthy to find love.
Mat notes that society gives us unrealistic expectations about love, influenced by fairy tales and media portrayals of romance. We think that the perfect partner will magically appear and save us.
But Mat prefers to see love as a journey of growth and healing.
The more we love and accept ourselves, even the parts of us that we see as broken, the more we begin to attract people into our life who can love and accept us.
This perspective helps us see that our past relationships were teachings. They taught us where we needed boundaries. They taught us where we were wounded. They gave us a roadmap to what we needed to work on for ourselves.
We can be grateful for that roadmap, even as we acknowledge that we should have NEVER been treated that way.
Breaking the Cycle of Bad Luck in Love
Every partner, every person you attract into your life is a sacred teacher for you. A lot of times, the most sacred teachers are the ones that cause you the most pain, because they are the ones that are offering you the greatest opportunity for growth [and] the deepest reflection of your own wounds.”
One of the most common issues women face is repeatedly attracting partners who treat them poorly.
According to Mat, this isn’t because all men treat women badly. It’s because you attract the partners you think you deserve.
You won’t meet better men until you tackle those beliefs, because “your beliefs are going to prove themselves right through the decisions and actions you take.”
The belief that you aren’t worthy of being treated well often comes from childhood experiences, such as a parent’s hurtful words or the way your father treated women.
Those beliefs can be so powerful that you don’t even notice the men who treat you well. The only type of men you find attractive are the ones who treat you badly.
“You could be in a room with 100 people, and if you were abused as a child, you will somehow find the person who is primed to mistreat you,” Mat says.
This is why belief work is such a core part of Mastery of Connection.
Love is a Journey
Mat’s approach to love is centered around the idea that each relationship, no matter how painful, is a stepping stone toward something greater.
He encourages women to embrace dating and relationships with curiosity, rather than anger or despair.
The journey to love is not about finding the perfect partner, but rather about evolving into the best version of yourself and finding someone who’s aligned with that growth.
Ultimately, Mat believes that love is available to each and every one of us, regardless of our past or present circumstances.
The key to finding it lies in healing from within, transforming limiting beliefs, and viewing every relationship as an opportunity for personal growth.
By shifting the focus inward and committing to the journey of self-love, women can attract the kind of love that reflects their true worth.
I’ll leave the last word to Mat:
There is no such thing as being trapped in a pattern of of of unfulfilling relationship that you can’t get out of. You can stop the pattern today. You can say, ‘Today I am no longer longer willing to tolerate being in relationships that do not feel good to me.’ And the moment you make that unapologetic stand in your own life … your entire reality begins to shift.”
Mat Shaffer
Mat is an experienced intuitive coach for women looking to foster deep connection and personal empowerment so they can experience freedom, joy and fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. He draws on years of personal development and emotional intelligence training to provide world class coaching to women hungry to reach the next level in any or all areas of their lives. Claim your chance to work with Mat!
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